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Day 4 with no food and no water. Hospice started giving her oral morphine and Ativan. She is breathing very irregular. Her pulse of is 78. Basically been in a coma for the full time. Wonder if this can go on for weeks or if it will be days? Worried... as I hate seeing my mom like this.


advice? Thoughts?

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I'm so sorry you are going through this. My mom went seven days without food or water. I think I must have said good bye over twenty times thinking this is it, this is it. I stayed by her side for the duration. The one day I left early was the night she died. I so wanted to be there but I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Hang in there. Our thoughts are with you Army Aunt.
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ArmyAunt Oct 12, 2019
Oh wow! I have done this same thing!! Said my goodbyes a few times now I am just wondering if I should have waited. Thank you for sharing.
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It sounds as if it won’t be long now. Hospice started my father on morphine and Ativan two days before he died. I think it relaxed him enough to stop fighting. The day before, I was told that it might be a week before he passed, and I was horrified that he would suffer that long. He breathed like that for only half a day and passed away after everyone had left except my mother who was sleeping peacefully in the same room.

Keep talking to her. Hospice said that even when they are unresponsive, they can still hear, so I sang to him, and read Bible verses, prayed aloud for him, and used a baby brush to brush his hair. Tell your mother that you will be OK. Remember to take care of yourself by remembering to eat and drink and breathe deeply and evenly. My prayers are with you during this vigil.
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ArmyAunt Oct 12, 2019
I agree! We have had soft music from “ her age” songs she would like. She has had a lot of company. I wonder if she’s waiting on the never ending people to leave! Ha.I am coming down with a very bad sore throat and ear ache. I feel all run down. Haven’t slept well at all in over a week. Not that I really ever do, lol.
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I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I went through this with my dad and he lasted about 10 days without food or water. He would go for a full minute between breaths.....and I'd hold MY breath, waiting to see if he'd take another. His vital signs were pretty good though, in spite of everything, and I was freaking out, thinking he'd live for a month like that, and the thought was killing me. The hospice nurse told me she thought dad wouldn't let go with all his loved ones in the room, and that's what was holding him back and keeping his vital signs stabilized. Right then and there, I ushered everyone OUT the door and off to a restaurant for dinner. Not 5 minutes after we left, dad's vital signs began to decline. He passed away that night at 2 am.

Sending you a big hug and a prayer for a quick and peaceful, pain free transition for your dear mom.
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ArmyAunt Oct 12, 2019
Today is day 5. Honestly she seems better today than yesterday! There are 5 people staying here with her. No one seems to want to leave her be but me! I agree that she needs left alone so she can let go. I had plans to go to a play tomorrow and I feel like I just might go. I feel guilty but there are others there now. Would be nice to get out with the hubby and laugh for a change. Thank you so very much for the words of advice
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No. Without any fluid you are close to the end. Watch for cooling and some fluid retention, some bluing of color in extremities. Watch for cheyne-stokes breathing where they breathe in a few. Then no apparently breathing. A gasp and a few breathes. Just very irregular. Wishing peace for this vigil of love and caring.
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ArmyAunt Oct 12, 2019
Oddly yesterday she was doing that with the breaths. Today she seems more normal. This is day 5. I have done all I can do. As she would have said “ she’s a tough old bird” lol
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