JeanieB Asked September 2012

Is there anything I can do about my daughter and her husband getting money from my elderly father?


My daughter and her husband are "borrowing" money from my elderly father who is has early signs of dementia. They claim they need money for things that are not happening. They make up stories like they need attorney fees, can't pay bills, doctor bills, etc., then they go on vacations and shopping sprees. They both have stated to others that my father is "stupid" and they boast about how them are scamming money from him. Their home is furnished with flat screen tvs in every room, brand new furniture and they are only in their early 20s. My father refuses to believe me when I bring this to his attention and he is getting very forgetful and doesn't fully understand what they are really doing. I have a handicapped brother who will eventually need care and I am worried that the monies set aside for him are being used or will be shortly. I am a single mother with two children and I cant afford to help my brother at this point. I know my father had set aside a fund just for my brother but my daughter and her husband are robbing him blind. Any advise???

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EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack Sep 2012
You could try to find a friend or member of the clergy that your father trusts and see if that person can get through to him. Maybe someone can get him to set up a trust in your brother's name.
Other than that, there isn't likely anything you can do unless you are willing to get a lawyer and take legal action. That will be expensive and will obviously damage your relationship with your daughter, but it could be your only choice.
Good luck,
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igloo572 Sep 2012
The attorney could set up a "special needs trust" for your handicapped brother.
I would suggest that you should really think about doing this and using your brother's needs as the approach to take with your dad as to why to do something now. Then while you are there work thorough whatever else needs to happen with your dad legally so that you are DPOA, MPOA, etc so that you can deal with his finances.

I have a 1950's era cousin with polio and my aunt & uncle set up a special needs trust for him forever ago and the important part was that it was set up so that the trust is it's own entity so that the $$ in the trust is not my cousin's asset but he is the beneficiary of the trust and the successor of the trust is his daughter. This is good because he is able to get Medicaid but use the trust to pay for things that Medicaid or Medicare doesn't. He got his car retrofitted so that he can drive and the trust $ was used for that. He totally manages it on his own as he is mentally capable just not physically able. Trusts really need to be done by an attorney with experience in your state. It is not a do it yourself project.
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JeanieB Sep 2012
What could an attorney do?
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