I am in my 60's with just fair health & live alone w/my dog. She is my only child. My daughter is 28, extremely intelligent but unsuccessful as she has bipolar disorder, so she quit college and married a college dropout guy. She lives far away in another state. She cut me and my whole family off.
At first I used to spy on her through social media sites, and that is how I found out she got married and got pregnant!
I just messaged her sister-in-law yesterday and she said that I "don't love my daughter enough to let her go." (???!!!) I love her more than life itself. She was planned by me and loved unconditionally by me. There was no abuse or substance abuse in her childhood; she was spoiled rotten as an only child. She cut off her father and his family 10 years ago and didn't even express caring when her grandfather died. I hate to say it, but I raised a really mean person somehow and her therapists in her teen years told me it came from her father. We were not married long, and I raised her as a single mom and did my best.
She used to be loving and make gifts for me all the time, but when she moved away to Texas she came upon hard times and started demanding money from me. I am just on social security and I did what I could but it wasn't enough. Apparently people are only of use to her when they can give her money, I'm ashamed to say.
At first I became very very suicidal, but then I accepted it. My poor daughter has severe social phobia and doesn't get along with people well. After messaging with her new sister-in-law who verbally abused me terribly, I am very afraid that my daughter will have terrible problems with her inlaws when it all falls apart and there will be a child involved.
I do not know her address or phone number and so when something happens to me, will the police notify her? I have no one to notify her. I am very very lonely, living in an apartment with my dog in the forest. I think it will help a lot if I move to a Senior Apartment Complex that is 12 miles away. Then, I will have ready made friends to take my mind off my poor daughter.
Every day I have suicide thoughts and every day I overcome them by putting one foot in front of the other and lavishing my dog with all my love. You may have read my other posts that my father is also long distance and I had to cut him off due to severe abuse from him as he has dementia (he has caregivers).
I have a huge heart and I love everyone, but am left without anyone. I found a Facebook support group on the subject of Estranged Parents but it triggered my suffering so much that I had to quit. My only defense/survival mechanism is distracting myself from thinking about her.
Any thoughts or tips? I have an ugly future ahead of me, I believe. If any. Thank you.