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Last Christmas, I gave my 83 year old mother a white faux fur vest and black pants with the skinny legs. My mother love clothes and likes to look nice. She told me she did not like the gift and I need to return it and get my money back. I felt insulted, but, I told her okay, I will return it. I left my gift with her, thinking I will come back and get my gift. It has been very hectic with me due to being a caregiver to my husband with Parkinson disease and dementia and other health issues. My mother has some dementia too and is on Namenda, which she does very well as far as memorizing what she wants to remember. She called and told me that my brother and his wife and a friend of the family were visiting her and she gave my gift to the friend because she loved the vest and pants. I felt hurt and was wondering why will she give my gift too someone else. Well, I did let it go until today, she called me and told me this Christmas, do not give her a gift she does not like and that I always give her gifts she does not like, which is not true. I told her okay, I will give you a gift if you start buying me a gift, even it it is only a $1.00 gift. When I told her that, she say all that is so sad and quickly got off the phone. Before today, I was planning to buy her a practical gift which was underclothes or a housecoat or gown. However, after talking to her today, which brought back old wounds, I feel that I should not buy her anything for Christmas. My question is Should I feel that way since it is my mother?

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Thanks for all your answers. I am really feeling better knowing that my feeling is a normal reaction, even if it is my own mother.
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I know that it sucks and hurts that she acted crappy to you. Sounds like she has never liked anything that you have ever got her as a gift. From here on out, I wouldn't bother getting her gifts period. If family gives you grief, you don't owe them an explination and tell them so.
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How you feel is how you feel regardless of whether it's your mother or not. You understandably feel hurt that she rejects your gifts. She doesn't even try to hide it by being polite! She flat out tells you not to get her a gift because she doesn't like what you get her. That hurts.

If you're wondering if you're justified in feeling as you do, I would say yes. Save your money and your time and skip the gift giving. Listen to what she is telling you and don't put yourself out there to be hurt yet again by buying her a present she will reject.
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