So dad's stubbornness has left him without a legal POA or Will despite many attempts by us kids to bring an attorney to him (nursing home)?

I told my uncle, you may as well write down "I'd like to leave the bulk of my estate to lawyers and bankers and I'd like my family to fight amongst themselves."

DM, you are paying his bills without having POA?

Why would you take on that responsibility for someone who isn't cooperative?

Say no. Walk away. Let him take care of his own bills.

The financial POA is much more important than a will, imho.

Can't you find one on LegalZoom or something?

I would venture to say that he is feeling like you are bringing this up because you want his money, that's what his comment said to me.

Sometimes we just have to let go and let things play out. So many people don't care what they leave for others to handle. It is what it is at this point.

Leave it. He has expressed no interest in any of it. His estate will be settled by what he owes standing to what he has. The rest will be divided between his heirs according to state law. If you do not wish to be executor, any of you, then allow the state to appoint one. By the time they are finished there won't be any money to worry about. Allow him a peaceful end with hospice. His bills will be paid by his executor upon his death. You have done your best. Clearly he has declined your suggestions, so time to let it go and make his end as peaceful as you are able.

I'd go to the courts and get appointed "emergency" guardian and POA for both financial and his person oversight (i.e. medical). Since you are the one taking care of his finances, be sure to save all receipts, bank statements, etc. You're going to have to act like you're running a business and be ready to be audited by family members and the courts somewhere down the road. Keep a diary of actions being (or not being taken) and the reasons behind decisions. Emotions run high when a loss occurs. Better to be safe than sorry.

Regarding his will, seek an attorney's assistance. I think if someone dies without a will, all possessions go into probate and the court decides? I don't know and am only guessing.