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My dad is 61 with a family history of heart disease. He's smoked since he was 13, has high blood pressure, high cholesterol and depression. 5 years ago he decided to get healthy to watch his grandchildren grow up- quit smoking and started taking meds. He slowly quit caring about things he formerly loved but for the first year or so we thought it was from the Chantix he was given to quit smoking. He's slowly developed forgetfulness, lost all his patience and no longer has any regard for the things he once loved- family, friends, job. This past year he quit taking all his meds and started smoking again. He says inappropriate things, is scary forgetful, quick to anger and refuses to do anything besides work. I'm not giving up on him. He's been my best friend and been through more than I could survive yet he's always been positive, happy and uplifting until these past few years. I've talked to him, cried to him. His friends and coworkers are calling me to tell me their concerns and it sounds like he may be fired if he doesn't get his act straight. This from a man who took one sick day in 13 years and put in countless hours of unpaid overtime. My mom refuses to say anything to him because he starts screaming that she and everyone else are against him-I'd never heard him yell while growing up. My brother lives out of the area and doesn't see all of this. I've called the dr and he's very concerned but says there's nothing He can do unless I can get my dad to the clinic. There's so much more I could get in to but basically I just need to know if anyone has any creative ideas how to get him to the dr. I can drive him there but I know he'll refuse to get out of the truck. I'm scared, alone and don't know where else to turn.

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He agreed to go to the Dr!!!! I don't know if it was the heart to heart I had with him, the letter I wrote, the info I got from talking to his dr and relaying to him, the family intervention, bringing his coworker in to tell him what he needed to hear... I don't know what exactly it was but my heart is filled with hope that I may get my dad back. Thank you all for your help, prayers and thoughts!
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The answers and support in your replys mean so much to me, thank you! I wrote my dad a letter but it didn't have any effect. Next, I'm getting the family together for an intervention style chat tomorrow night. I loved the idea of an employer forced health eval, unfortunately, his staff has been covering him because they truly care about him and upper management isn't quite aware yet. Also, he's so paranoid that everyone's out to get him, I'm afraid if his employer told him he had to go to the dr, it could get ugly. I've considered hitting him with my car so he'd HAVE to go. Ok, not really. Please keep the ideas coming & I'll let you know when we get the one that worked!!
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I'm in the same boat as you. I'd like to do nothing more than sail away, but I'm the only caregiver. My Mom won't see the doctor either since she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. "They are crazy, not her. Her refusal concerns me because she is now mid-stage and needs to be on more or different meds. Her PCP is now the one she goes to, but he doesn't know shit about Alzheimer's. I'm going to contact the doctors and see if some way, they can test and talk with her. I know am borderline high blood pressure, when it has always been low (I used to pass out a lot), but not anymore. Other organizations you can get are the Agency on Aging and Alzheimer's Association. They can refer you. I can't say enough about Alzheimer's Association. They have been a Lifeline for me. I wish (U.S. Both) success with our stubborn parents and getting the care they need!
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Assuming you get him to the regular doctor he will probably need a referral to a specialist, possibly a neurologist. Look up Frontotemporal Dementia, check the AFTD.org website. See if you recognize his symptoms there. If yes, print something out and include that in the info you send ahead of time to the doctor. Most of the general physicians can miss something out of the ordinary.
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Tell him the doctor's office called and left a message that he needs to come in for his yearly checkup for insurance/obamacare/drug scan. That his insurance is going to het cancelled if he doesn't comply. Get him there, write the doc a letter before you go and make sure it gets read.
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He knows he is not well and going back to smoking is his own way of defying death. You can't change him and his employer will force him to retire or be fired. You take him to the MD and tell him his life is on the line, it's now or never. Take the two biggest guys in the shop along to convince him. Hogtie him if you have to.
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NotGivingUp, it is difficult to get some people to go to the doctor. My father was one of those people. I know the struggle you are going through to try to get him to go. It sounds to me that he has something going on in his brain and needs to see a good neurologist. But what to do, since he has such a strong personality. If your mother cannot stand up against him, you most likely won't be effective. Do you have any brothers or uncles that could talk to him? Chances are if he won't go, then you'll have to wait for something catastrophic that lands him in the ER. That would be a shame, however, if it is something that can be helped. He may realize that something is wrong with him, but he isn't prepared to face it. I hope there is someone who he will listen to that will encourage him to go to the doctor.
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Wow! I am so sorry that your family is in this situation. My heart goes out to you.

What if the clinic did a "routine" letter or call to Dad saying it was time to update his tetanus shot or some other minor matter? It sounds like the doctor is on your side and may be willing to do something like this. But how likely would Dad be to accept it?

If he does get suspended or fired, I wonder if his employer would reconsider if Dad sees a doctor and, if appropriate, accept treatment? Even better would be for the employer to insist on a medical exam as a condition of continued employment. I wonder if any of his coworkers who have contacted you might be willing to take up this cause with personnel?

It sounds like Dad is depressed. That can be treated. It is possible he is experiencing dementia or other cognitive problems. Those may or may not be curable but symptoms can be treated. IF you can get him into the doctor. I wish I had a magic wand for that.

The husband of my very good friend was depressed for years after having heart surgery. He was told by doctor after doctor that this was common and was easily treated but he absolutely refused to take an antidepressant. My friend was at her wits' end, and was considering divorce. And then her husband had an illness that sent him to the hospital. They simply put him on an antidepressant along with his other treatments. He was a new person! No one was glad to see him in the hospital, but it saved his marriage, and greatly improved his (and his family's) quality of life. I hate to say that it would be good if your father broke his leg or came down with pneumonia, but if something like that happens, take full advantage of it.

I hope other posters can share tricks and techniques of getting someone to see a doctor.
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