My Dad's case manger for insurance is a real jerk she wants to put him in a group home. Advice?

jrtuman, what I am having a hard time with is WHY the case manager is doing this to you. What does she have to gain by trying to frame you? Do you know? Can you think of any reason she is doing this?

Dishes in the sink, papers on the table, even a single dog accident on the floor does not constitute a filthy house. A worker should have only thrown out food that was of questionable age or not properly stored. Why would a worker want to get you in trouble this way? You say you just bought the food. Did it look wilted? Did it maybe freeze in your car and thaw into a mess? Why would a worker throw out apples that looked fine?

It sounds like you got your dad ready for the day, and then left yourself, before your hired caregiver got there. If you are primarily responsible for Dad and if his doctor or other professional has said he needs 24-hour care, then leaving him alone was the big problem. You cannot assume the caregiver will eventually show up. Leaving someone alone for 5 hours if they need supervision and even help to get water is considered neglect. Yes, the agency was neglectful, too. But that doesn't get you off the hook.

The agency would expect a call saying one of their workers had an emergency and couldn't show up. But even if the emergency prevented that (you can't call if you are unconscious in an ambulance!) they would expect a call from the family member who is in charge. Then they do their best to get a substitute out to the house. But until they are able to do that, all parties expect that the family member will stay with the care receiver until someone arrives. This may mean missing work or missing a critical medical appointment, etc -- but that is the role of the family member who is responsible for the care receiver.

The case manager must be certain that a 24-hour need is met 24 hours, by family and hired help. If there is no family, or family is not being responsible, then in-home care is not appropriate and the person needs to go into a suitable care center.

Maybe, just maybe, Dad going into a group home would be best all the way around. You could visit him there as a loving daughter, and you would never have to worry that he might be left alone.

ill tell ya right now , i dont keep house worth a damm . its my house and my damm . i never intend to allow aps on my property for any reason . i dont ever degrade women but in the case of healthcare , elder care , aps , hospice , etc -- ive had dealings with some really judgemental women who had about as much education as i could get from a leaflet at a dr's office and thoroughly sucking in the theatre of life experience . most would blurt out their poorly thought statements then slam their ears shut when you attempted to reply . i forsee bad things happening when i get older and someone tries to treat me like a child .

I have to agree, what a bunch of judgement people, How any of you have Never left a dirty dish in the sink or a paper on the table? It is a bit audacious of you to assume he didn't provide for his father,. Not everyone can have unlimited resources and assistance... some people have to work and rely on others to assist.. which is actually what he PAID them for..

Wow, I can't believe how judgmental and mean some of these comments were . Has no one left dirty dishes in the sink because the dishwasher was filled? Left paperwork on the table? Hope an agency doesn't come to my house because with a family of 5 and a handicap elderly person to take care of, my house is never perfect! Jrtuman, wishing you the best.

That was not all that was in the fridge there were a lot of fresh veggies and apples and other things. But all of those were throw a way by the caregiver and I left him with FOOD AND WATER when I left he at of course he at the food and drank the water but did not have any more water for five hours

jrtuman, wait a minute, your Dad was left without food or water? Are you saying all that was in the refrigerator was ham [which the new caregiver tossed out] and nothing else, and nothing in the pantry or cabinets for him to eat... good grief, no wonder the Care Manager feels your Dad would be better off living elsewhere.

Sounds like caring for your Dad is overwhelming for you even with the help of a caregiver. Why not give yourself a much needed break and let your Dad live for awhile in a continuing care home while you catch your breath.

last sentence should read.....your father would be better OFF....in NH. Talk about clear! :-)

Good, CLEAR answers/advice. I hope you can understand it and make a good decision. Frankly, it appears to me that your father would be better of in a nursing home.

Unless they find real evidence and a pattern of neglect, not much is going to happen. That said, someone must think something isn't right in your home, so you're going to need to protect yourself, too. I assume you have POA; fire the agency and hire another. Almost all secondary insurance carriers contract with multiple care agencies in every region, so you shouldn't have to change his insurance to get a different care agency. If it is the only agency your insurance will work with, demand different caregivers and watch them closely. They work for you, not the other way around. Keep changing until you find one you are happy with and trust. Take your own pictures of your home showing it's safe and clean, and take photos of the food in your kitchen. Make sure you use a camera with a date/time stamp for each photo. Do this at least once per week and keep the photos as evidence of your good caregiving. Keep all receipts for everything you purchase for dad, including all his food. Think of all this extra work as the reverse of collecting evidence to prove neglect -- you want to demonstrate good care. If you can't change agencies with that insurance coverage, wait for open enrollment time and change your dad's plan to one that contracts with the agency you want to do business with. Remember that caregiving is a business, just like any other, and the people that run them do so to make money. If the agency is participating in something this dastardly, it needs to be reported to the agency that regulates in home caregivers in your area. Keep in mind, however, that all caregivers are required by law in many places to report potential neglect or abuse, real or not. Mandatory reporters can suffer penalties and imprisonment, if they know about neglect or abuse and fail to report it. You may just be the victim of an overly anxious caregiver who just wants to stay on the right side of those laws. But if there are any "unsavories" living with you, or if any of their allegations ring true, you shouldn't be caregiving in your home. You need to keep squeeky clean to be above the criticism that has you this frazzled.

Call Social Services, because you are really not cut out to be a caregiver. Someone who is only marginally literate, has old food in the fridge, piles of dirty dishes and papers all over the table is really not taking good care of themselves. If you can't even mind a dogs needs, your Dad would be better off elsewhere. You really need a group home for yourself too, in all honesty.

throw them out of your house . poa has incredible powers delegated to them by the patient . all aps has to operate on is bluff and threats - very little actual power inside your home .