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We recently enrolled my 93 year old father into an adult day program in which he goes two days a week. He was sleeping a lot and I thought this would be beneficial for him.The first week went well but into the second week he is saying he does not want to go. He has a problem in using the bathroom and bowel incontinence and I think this is the main issue. I asked one of the caregivers at the facility and she said they deal with this issue all the time and they would try and work with him such as trying to visit the bathroom every two hours something I have never had any success with as he is kind of stubborn. The day care is a very good and I feel it is good for him but should we force him to go if he is adamant about not going and just let him sleep. He is not on any anxiety drugs and I really did not want to go this route unless it was necessary. But if they would help him with this problem I was thinking it may be a benefit.

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Thanks for the message. The daycare is from 900am - 5pm it is mainly a respite for my mother who is the primary caregiver when I am working. She has an aortic aneurysm and I am trying to keep her stress down. But my father now is adamant about not going to the point of becoming violent when we try to get him out of bed to go. So right now we are not forcing him to go to day care and he sleeps all day. Is there any type of short term anxiety medication which can be given at night before bed which will allow us to get him to day care in the morning without having any issues or is there some other way of handling this issue.
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My husband has a BM every day at the same time. If your father is like that, work around his internal schedule. So if he is a 9:30 AM pooper, get him to daycare after that. If he is a 1 PM pooper, get him home by 1PM. Hope this helps. Most patients poop after a meal and usually it's lunch. That's why Nursing Homes are so fragrant around 2 PM.
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