Daddy (72) has a 31 year old hood rat girlfriend! Any advice?
My daddy is acting really strange to the family. It is kinda hard to explain & no one get offended please but my dad is a 72 yr old white man from VA a ex biker who held KKK rallys on the back of our property. He now at 72 has a girlfriend who is a 31 yr old black hooker hood rat straight from the dope hole in the city we live in. This girl went to school with my daughter who is 30 & her & her friends know this girl & she has bad mental illness in her family and people say she has it to. Her arrest record isnt the best either not the worst but not good either. Daddy is spending every day and night with her even neglecting his animals in feeding them. I have been having to because I never know what time he will come home. He refuses to listen to any family at all says we all have done wrong and until she does to leave her alone that he hasnt been this happy in a long time. A few years ago we were having it out with my son who was/is addicted to crack and he hung out in this dope hole she is from & my dad was right there fussing right along with us about him being down there etc now my dad is hanging out there himself even said he liked her rap music. He said she works 1-2 days a week doing hair. Can you make enough money on 1-2 days hair work to pay rent,city light bill,car ins,gas,etc? My dad made me his POA and his nurse/dr said he had beginning dementia also my dad and mom did a quit claim deed to me with their life estate. The property has the 2 homes he and my family live in. Can my dad tell us to move out? I cant argue with him to much about her due to possible stroke getting him upset. Any advice for me? I have never had to deal with anything like this and im an only child and we dont have any family near by and no one in the family knows about this other than me,my husband and my 2 kids and 1 son in law.
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If he has early dementia it's unlikely that doctors or a judge would declare him incompetent and grant guardianship but it may be worth checking into.
As long as he is able to handle his affairs, even badly, the POA does not give you the right to control his finances or property. Usually the POA will come into play when he becomes mentally incompetent.
Ants are attracted to water; I've noticed in dry conditions or when the neighbor starts piling branches next to her driveway, it's only a matter of time before the ants start visiting the bathroom - sink, toilet or tub.
You can take advantage of their need for water and put it in a container or something so that they have to walk through the borax mixture and get it on their feet, then take it back to the nest. With as many carpenter ants as you have though, it may take some time to get rid of them.
I would check that side of the house for water leaks as well. You might also want to consider having an electrician check the wiring, as ants can crawl through the walls, and who knows what damage they'll do.
As to your father, his behavior is certainly not consistent with prior attitudes, and does sound as if he has dementia, or at least there's something wrong with his thought processes.
I think the idea of getting a doctor involved is good. But there's still the issue of how to break up this unhealthy liaison (especially if she's a hooker). Has your mother died recently? I'm wondering if that might be what prompted him to seek out the companionship of this younger woman.
Wish I had better suggestions but this is a tough situation.