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My dad has several illness due to him neglecting his health for several years (eating junk, not exercising at all) despite my pleas. He's been in hospital 5 times in 3 years. Most recently, He was in the hospital then a rehab home for awhile, but left early so he wouldn't lose his job even though he could only take a few steps at a time. He's been out of the rehab home for about three weeks now, but his health has deteriorated. He cannot walk at all, can't sit up in bed, can't even roll over. He's 300 pounds and I'm hurting myself by trying to lift and move him around. He can't even make it to the bathroom. I've been washing him, emptying his urine bottles, feeding him according to the 3 different special diets he's on, and giving him his 13 prescriptions 24/7. I'm doing the best I can, but his room is downright unsanitary because I can't keep up. I can't leave the house because I can't leave him alone. To make matters worse, he has many phobias, anxiety, and mental health issues that make caring for him almost unbearable. He's generally ungrateful and demanding. Now hes wearing diapers and wants me to change him when he poos. I can't take it anymore! I told him he needs to go back to the hospital so they can find out what's wrong and care for him properly, but he said we won't go. I simply don't have strength or the energy to do this alone. Is there anyway I can make them take him? What do I do?

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And, Newb, PLEASE write back and tell us what happens when you get a chance... It is a good thing you are reaching out for help, and what I am trying to say that what your dad is asking and expecting of you is not right or reasonable, it may (or may not) be because he is having cognitive issues as well as physical one, and you should not try to do something that you really can't do!!
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He can't move. That constitutes a substantial deterioration in function which is medical issue right there. He needs transportation by either emergency or non-emergency ambulance for a medical evaluation, and you need to say NO you cannot care for a 300 lb immobile and incontinent man solo in your home. This is not a safe situation and he is very lacking in judgement not to realize it. Whether he has had a stroke, has CHF, has had muscle-weakening side effects of a medication, or just allowed himself to get too deconditioned to roll himself over in bed...you get my drift. You don't just let someone become totally disabled and bed-bound without intervention unless this is a hospice situation, and if it is a hospice situation, then you need some help with the care. APS may have to step in if he refuses to go when they come to pick him up, but that could call into question whether a mentally competent adult would refuse medical care under these circumstances. He cannot take care of himself and you cannot physically take care of him. There may be equpment such a patient lift and nursing care techniques you could learn if you really wanted to try to care for him at home, BUT it would be inappropriate not to have a decent medical evaluation to find out what has gotten him into this predicament and whether any of it is reversible.
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Sadly I fear Capn is correct. Can you talk to someone in your Dads Drs office. There are people and agencies to help. If he has mental health issues the mental Health Assoc in your area may be able to help. Hospital Social Worker may be another person. Sounds like you need help NOW! Keeping you in my prayers...
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id call aps and tell them you need help. if you dont act first you can believe theyll be there eventually screaming neglect. beat em to the draw..
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