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Then after a hour visit becomes angry and swearing at you.

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I've experienced this same exact scenario with my Grandfather only it does.not turn into anger but deep sadness. What works for me and my Grandpa is I acknowledge his feelings and very briskly converse with him about how he misses her, she was such a good lady, etc. And then smoothly transition into another activity. I will also give him old photos to look at and reminisce about. But I've learned from prior experiences that a diversional activity transition is an absolute must. But just as much as acknowledging the feelings he has is a must as well. Oh and diversions in our home are things such as "I know you miss Grandma very much and I can only imagine how hard it is to miss someone so much. (He nods, agrees....) But I think I have something that you may like." "Oh yea, you do?? Like what honey?" " Oh I recorded your show for you. Either Dean Martin celebrity roasts movies or an episode from Lawrence Welk." Works like a charm almost every time. If not, I try suggesting a relaxing nap with soft music or I bring my kids in to visit. Anything really. I'm lucky tho because my Grandpa has.severe dementia now but is still always very polite, respectful and so grateful I am here with him. I really know how blessed I am for that. I hope that never fades but you never know. If none of these things work, we just sit and explain when and where she died. Over and over and over and over again. ;) I wish you luck and keep strong.
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Seriously now, you call the MD and get dad some antidepressant meds. And when he brings it up, redirect his thoughts to something more pleasant, sports, weather, or food. Roll him around the facility and let him connect with others. Break that shell or he'll seal himself in it permanently.
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My first thought after reading your question was I wondered if you were thinking it might be better to not visit your dad in order to spare him the grief that he re-visits upon seeing you. But then you didn't say whether he grieves when you are not there. If you were the only trigger for that grief, I can imagine visiting him could cause you some amount of guilt which, ironically, is usually incurred upon doing the opposite, that is when you don't visit and they want you to.
I'm thinking I'd be torn between the desire to see my loved one and the fear that seeing them would somehow cause them to be unhappy. If I was sure that they were more unhappy seeing me than not seeing me then I would most likely stop my visits. It certainly wouldn't be easy to do!
Which leads me into other thoughts your question brought to mind in that I couldn't help but consider the possibility that your realization (perhaps on a subconscious level) that not seeing him is likely your best solution is the reason behind your visits deteriorating into his becoming angry. Perhaps your conversation or reaction to his grief is such that you know it will make him angry . Maybe you prefer him to be angry over sad. It would also make it easier for you to justify not coming to visit him in the future.
Not saying this is the case with you, I'm just speculating.
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I see that the death was very recent. I hope you can stand listening to him, and offering comfort, perhaps by touching his hand, nodding, murmuring that you are sad too, etc. Bring in some photo albums with you, and try redirecting him to thinking about the past and his life with your mother in happy times.

Personally, I think I would keep my visits short enough to avoid the transition to anger. Even if you only left for an hour and came back again for another short visit that might be better for both of you.
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Such a sad situation and hard on you. Are there trigger points that cause your dad to become angry? Maybe shorten your visit while it is still on good terms. Blessings to you, hang in there.
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I don't know if there is much you can do besides listen to him, then try to distract him with something less distressing to him. My mother often tears over and says that she misses Daddy. She gets mad at me, maybe because she feels I don't understand the full depth of her sorrow or maybe because I am not him. My father died two years ago, but her grief has stayed the same. All I can do is assure her that she'll see him again one day.
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