Dad with dementia has been saying sexually inappropriate things to my underage children and their friends. Anyone go through this?

Let the state take over. You risk getting your kids taken away or the parents of one of their friends bringing a civil suit against you for exposing their child to abuse.

This is one of those "just say no" situations.

Call 911 next time he goes off, and tell them he's sexually abusing minors (verbal abuse). Refuse to take him back after he's hauled off. He's a danger to your children. If he ends up on the streets or in prison, so be it. Get a restraining order if need be. It's time for him to pay the price for a lifetime of bad decisions.

Inappropriate Sexual Behavior. It's quite common. Good move finding him a facility, kids cannot be exposed to that. Does the AL also have MC? Dad may need that sooner rather than later.

Moving day is tomorrow. He has told us again that he will not go. I’m thinking we drop him there, and wash our hands of this whole thing? If they need to send him out for not cooperating, just have him sent to ER and make the state take over from there.
My intentions were good and I was trying to save him from hurting himself or someone else, or from ending up in an institution, but this has came back to bite me in the a**. Everyone else in his family knew better, but my heart got the best of me.

Let the state take guardianship.

You have young children that need you and he has made his choices.

I wouldn't contribute anything more after he is moved to AL.

Have a talk with your Aunt and explain that you love her and you don't want the relationship or lack of with your dad to have any bearing on the relationship you two have. If she lets him come between you, well, that's on her and her loss.

Just keep saying "no, we cannot possibly care for him; he is endangering our children".

If this continues (if he ends up at your home) you call APS because he is a danger to others and have the parents of the other children report his actions to the local police.

Moving him to AL - good.

Keep him away from the children until then. Or if not possible, ensure supervision at all times. Can the 17 yr old call out in appropriate language to supervise if you cannot?

Explain to the Grandkids it is the disease. That his brain is breaking.

Yes this can happen. I have come across families where an elder had to placed in care & only received visits from grandchildren under strict supervision. Some cease visits entirely.

If he worsens, consider a mental health ER admit until next week.

Getting him into the ER and refusing to be involved at all in discharge planning - you can tell the discharge planner ONCE the reason why (don't discuss it further, it gives them an opening to try to coax you to try again, etc). Ideally he will end up at the VA - if he is insolvent, homeless, and of questionable cognitive capacity/ability to care for himself the VA is the place that has to take him in. None of the facilities will keep him with sexually inappropriate behavior, if it isn't easily controlled with meds.
Law enforcement tries very hard not to get involved unless there really is imminent harm - if your dad can control his behavior around them, he is probably not impulsive enough to meet their criteria.
You do need to get him out, you know that.

I would see if Dad qualifies for a VA home. I doubt if an AL will take him. Men and women are not kept separate. Or get him on Medicaid and place him in a NH. Will be quicker than getting him A&A and into a VA hospital. No loan needed.

Well I hope when the police came you told them about the sexually explicit things he has been saying to the children, so they know hes not all sugar! They are normally used to dementia pts being a pistol to deal with. I agree you may need MC