My dad is having surgery for Colon Cancer next week. If they can do the surgery laparoscopically he will only be in the hospital 2-3 days. If they run into problems they will have to do open surgery and he would be in the hospital for 2 weeks or more. I have another dilemma .....my step mother also has dementia - more advanced than my dad. They both live in an Assisted Living facility. She wants to stay at the hospital with him and he wants her there too. They are codependent and my dad takes care of her more or less - basically he keeps her from getting lost. My dad said he wouldn't have the surgery unless she was able to stay with him. I told them I would make sure she was taken care of at assisted living even if we have to hire a service which will most likely be the case because they are understaffed at AL and she would need someone around overnight. I also told him if he didn't have the surgery he would die a painful death (doctor told him that too). And if they do open surgery he will be in there for 2 weeks or more and she can't stay there that long. She was a huge pain in the butt when I took her to his Colonoscopy (understatement). I was supposed to encourage my dad to drink his prep solution but had to walk her to the bathroom in the lobby area, which was far for her, when she needed to go. I had done that, brought her back to the room and she said she had to go again. Got half way down the hall and she didn't make it....luckily she wears a diaper because it was bad!! But I still had to hunt a fresh one down for her and get her taken care of and then get back to my dad. She was also going to follow him into the procedure room when they wheeled him away It's all so incredibly frustrating and they have no clue. The doctor told my dad and her that they would set up a bed for her and she could stay but he is utterly clueless on how bad she is although I called and talked to the nurse about it this morning. Just wondering if anyone has been through anything similar? One other issue, if I hire an outside source to help my step mother they will both be suspicious of whomever is in the apartment. They think staff at AL comes in and takes things as it is. Any advice? Thanks!