Dad has dementia. Started noticing it a few years ago. Now he's full blown. My husband and I started staying with him over a year ago. Our home and my husbands job is about an hour away. So my husband commutes and I've taken a leave from work. When we got here we had to run off a girlfriend/caregiver who was literally starving him to death and asking him to sign legal papers. (it was very clear what she was up to) Now over a year later he has gained 23 pounds and is physically healthy. BUT his dementia is just slowly getting worse and there is no way that he can live alone ever again. He refuses to leave his house. He is happy with the current living arrangement but my husband and I are about to go crazy. We have to go home. I need to go back to work. My dads home is paid off and he has a retirement account. So do I have a liquidate all of that as I "private pay" for caregiving? its about 120K per year for 24 hr home care through an agency. Is that our only option since he refuses to leave home?
He is probably ready for a memory care facility. These can run $5 grand or more a month.
Most facilities will accept a letter from his treating doc that dad can no longer care for himself.
He will be just fine in a facility and you guys will get your lives back. This is tough stuff. Been through it with 2 parents.
Those suffering from a Dementia do not want to leave their homes. Its familiar and for a while they do better there. But a time comes they need 24/7 care and your POA allows u to place him. Its now what he needs not what he wants. The sooner he gets settled into an AL the better. As his Dementia progresses he will more likely except an AL as "home".
You need to get back to your life. I don't think ur Dad would want you to financially suffer because you cared for him. Find a place nearby.