Dad will soon be moving from Assisted Living to Long term care in his same facility. Any advice?

Asked by

We are not surprised as his last fall basically keeps him from being able to walk well or transfer without help. So the move will happen at the end of the month. Right now he is in SNF/rehab so is used to the small room which will be exactly the same. Anyone have words of wisdom or advice on the move? What to take? How to get rid of everything in his AL apartment? This is sad even though I knew it was inevitable and it is for the best. But I just hate it for him. And it makes me sad too.

Answers 1 to 10 of 10
Top Answer
My mom went from AL to the SNF (same facility) for Rehab. My mom was happy about a Rehab and they told her if she wanted to go back to her apartment she had to get stronger. My mom said she was done with the apartment. So she stayed in SNF. I donated her furniture to an organization that houses temp missionary workers. It made me sad too, but my mom has really thrived being on SNF unit. She gets to all activities and church service. Has made great friends.
Take select pieces, favorite chair, side table, lamp...pare down wardrobe. Donate rest to the AL —they can use to furnish respite care rooms. Or donate to church for new immigrants getting resettled or you can donate to habitat for humanity.

You can do this and either be honest with dad, or tell a fib and just say as soon as your better your apt will be waiting.

My mom in memory care and she still thinks at some point she will return to the house. It was sold and everything dumped or donated. It would break her heart so we just tell her house is being repaired and doctor will tell us when she can “go home”.

She is not unhappy where she is. She is content and well cared for and safe. But she would never want to really know she has lost her independence.
Harpcat, I was able to donate Mom's larger bed to the facility for someone else to use. The facility moved Mom's other belongings upstairs for her and I decorated her new room when I came into town to visit her. Took home the things she no longer needed. Mom has her huge TV that she purchased years ago (she was so proud), her recliner and numerous pictures and decorations from her home. For the best isn't always the easiest to live with but I wish you both courage and strength to get through this journey.
I just cut down on furniture and the only wall hangings that she likes are old photos of family...nothing much new. I use command stick on hooks to make transitions easier on the walls. I also kept photo albums and stuffed them in unused drawers to rotate. She has a lot of clothes for a very petite size. Rather than throw away extras I took half of them home with me since we have seasons. She has been in facilities for several years so if a piece of clothing is worn I will replace from her supply. Purchasing something new is difficult for sizing. She tends to shun anything new
Furnish new space as much like old one as you can. Orient bed same way. I told my Papa they were going to fix up his room with new paint, carpet, etc. (he has been in that space in AL for almost nine years til I had to move him to secure building at same facility - he had dementia) and the only open room was in another building. He never noticed the difference as all the buildings had the same layout.
When my Dad moved from his house to Independent Living, I made sure I had Dad's bedroom in the same order, like Myra had mentioned above. Dad's highboy dresser was to the left of the bed, the nightstand to the left, etc. That way when Dad would awake in the middle of the night it gave a sense of normalcy.

Then when it was time for Dad to move from his IL apartment over to Assisted Living/Memory Care, I told Dad a "therapeutic fib" saying that Dad would save a lot of money moving to "next door" [I didn't tell him it was memory care]. I joked with him telling him that room size was like a college dorm, minus all the parties.

I always made sure Dad had space for all of his books, like 200 of them. Thankfully all the books fitted in his Memory Care room. The books were like a safe cocoon for Dad.

Thankfully my Dad was very easy going to a point where I think I could have pitched a tent in the backyard and he would have been happy there :)
When we moved my folks from their IL apartment to AL room they were able to decide what they wanted to take based on what would fit. Family/friends decided what they wanted of the things that could not go. We had someone from the facility come next to see if there was anything they could use. Then anything we could transport we took to various donation locations. For the remaining items we could not transport we located a thrift store that did free pick up of donated items. The whole process took about two weeks because we didn’t want my folks to feel rushed. Hope this is helpful, even though your dad is moving to a higher level of care. Be gentle with yourself during the process too.
My mom was in her own house went to rehab for fall broke ankle. 5 months later went into long term skilled nursing. The rooms were the same. Small 2 people. It was an adjustment never going home. She has a board across from bed we decorated with family photos. A nighstand & closet. Small area. No space for any furniture. She has clothes for at least 7 days. Personal items jewerly locked in her drawers, makeup, wigs. I keep extra clothes at my home & rotate with the season. Other items that meant something to her I also kept. Everything else donated house sold. She knows her house was sold & mostly all items gone. But she has comfort knowing I'm storing some of her stuff. She thinks I have more than I really do but its ok. Luckly when she has asked for say certain clothes I do have it otherwise I just say its packed away I will look & she forgets about it. Its a transition be patient & understanding with dad and yourself. Your doing great.
Have they told you what type of things that he can have in his room? I've moved my LO twice in long term care and I found that due to her dementia, she didn't need nearly the number of things that I thought she would. I suppose that it depends on the level of progression, though.
LisaNJ said it all very well!

I was going to suggest offering the things you cannot take to the other residents but Lisa's idea sounds better.

And, as Sunnygirl11 said - I was thinking you can ask before you move.

Share your answer

Please enter your Answer

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support