My father (83 years old) was recently put into a Memory care facility as my stepmother could no-longer provide adequate care (She has a heart condition and is (85)). Up until a few weeks of going into the facility he was driving and doing his normal things around the house. History... This last Christmas (2017) he really started showing signs something was wrong, he became easily frustrated with my stepmother and her kids, and could be very direct or even rude, and his balance became increasingly worse. It ultimately scared my stepmother and she started seeking help from her two daughters (both work in the medical industry nurse and clinical psychologist). Over the course of (2) months they called the police on him (twice) when he would get angry at my stepmother and the police would come by and all would be fine. The police told me and the police report reflects "your father is of no imminent danger to her or himself". Finally she got him admitted into a behavioral ward, which once I found out came and got him out. She then wouldn't allow him to return home because she was scared of him, so I took him to a hotel (I live (250) miles away, and he didn't want to move to my house). So with no other choices and his doctors recommendation I visited a couple memory care facilities and found one with openings, very nice place, and he approved he would go on a temporary bases. This was February 27th, where he remains today. My stepmother has filed for guardianship and conservatorship, and see's him 3-4 times a week. My father has continued to get better (medicines have calmed the anger, but he can still get mad just seems like he can control it). Out of (14) patients in the memory care unit he is the only one with his own phone, television, walks around and talks with facility workers (most other patients no-longer talk, and many are farther along with dementia /Alzheimer's). Getting back to my question, he has been diagnosed with the following by a neuropsychologist after testing and an MRI - Frontal Temporal dementia w/ global shrinking - Moderate stage - W/ Alzheimer's. This information was provided verbally to me, as she recently took me off his HIPPA, because I was seeking to share guardianship and conservatorship with her, due to my dad's request, and her poor health conditions. She fought it and ultimately we conceded and ask for full transparency of medical issues / appts, and that I be copied (Which she hasn't done). Dad is now doing better with medicines and while I recognize he has dementia and will continue to get worse as time progresses, he has the lucidity to want to check on his home and banking. They aren't rich, but far from poor. As he put it, I worked hard my entire life, and because I have dementia I can no-longer visit my home (just to see how things are), and check in at the bank to see if my money is still intact. I am caught in the middle, trying to fulfill his desires (Visit house and bank), and trying to remain friendly with my stepmother and her family, which continue to tell me he can't visit his house and has no reason to be concerned about banking. My stepmother's reply when he asks about visiting home to check on things is "The doctor doesn't think it's a good idea, and tells him he can go when the doctor approves". I can't question the doctor because I have been taken off his HIPPA. I have had many discussions with dad about should he be allowed to visit his home and banking to see things are still fine. I TELL HIM THAT HE MUST RETURN BACK TO THE MEMORY CARE THAT NIGHT AND HE CAN NOLONGER STAY AT HIS HOME. He explains to me that is fine, and will return willingly to the memory care home. What would be your recommendation, I don't want to harm my father in anyway, and want to know if taking him to his home would be an acceptable thing to do, or should I drop it and continue to tell him "we have to wait for stepmother to get approval from doctor?" Which I have done for nearly (2) months, and every day it consumes our whole conversation. At this time he has asked that we get an attorney to pursue getting the guardianship / conservatorship changed and or a divorce if he can't visit his home. Sorry for lengthiness of this, felt without details of events leading up to his entry into the memory care facility, one couldn't provide a recommendation.