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They live in and house and had 9 cat a dog and a bird the house was a mess. Cat poop and pissed every where. Now the house is up for sale after they both ended up in the hosp. Dad has heart issues and mom has dementia. We get in big fights he hates every one in the family. We want to go to Alabama for the birth of a child and we are struggling to find someone to care for them. I work and we have a lady come in everyday for care for mom from 9-1pm and then my other half work 3or 4 hours a day. Dad does help with bills. Are bills have dbl. for caring for both so it does help. And now he is b*tching about that. It would be 6 7 thousand for mom to be in a home dad can not take care of my by him self.

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If your parents have savings then use it to get help so you can go see the new baby. Ask a relative you can trust to stay with them while you travel. Pay them for their help if they will let you. If they refuse payment then say THANK YOU. Let them know what to expect from your mom and dad, write down their daily routines, fix their weekly pill boxes, leave your number for an emergency, THEN walk out the door, pray daily for them and have fun. By the way, if they want to leave your home you must accept it. It might be for the best. There is only so much we can do for our parents especially when they fight us every step. Sometimes we have to step away. :(
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Asst living would be ok if some one came in to help him
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I am guardian and conservator of mother and lawyer said that I am responsible of her and dad think he is until he dies witch is ok by me he is in fair condition but what happen was that they both ended up I the hosp. And dad was in no condition at that time to take care of mother we needed POA and and mom could not sign for her self. Mother was dehydrated. And dad heart was going crazy We put them in a nursing home for rehab and I think dad would have hung him self if we did not get him out of there.
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My uncle just moved into assisted living with my aunt. Everything was fine until she broke her leg. She went down hill fast and mentally also. He tried to take care of her for weeks, it almost killed him and he finally just this week gave in and put her in a nursing home. Perhaps your dad would do the same. How about assisted living for them? That would help some.
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yeah not sure on those reverse mortgages, you can borrow up to what the house is worth, once the money is gone........you HAVE to repay or you lose the house. good luck
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I agree with the reverse mortgage being out. If they have savings and the house, why not get a caregiver if Dad can afford it, sparsely furnish the house from Goodwill or church bazaar etc and let them live there happily. If it kills your dad looking after your mom, he will die happy - or so it seems.
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It's in a small town in Iowa it's one of 65 that are for sale for dad a reverse mortgage is out of the question money is not a issue yet he has a saving and he was very poor when he was young and they watch there money like a hawk
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You could get a reverse mortgage if you are desperate. Those things stink if you really want to live in your home & get paid. It's a license to steal, but so is the quick sale all cash. It depends on how badly you need the money. What city is the house located in? Is the market rebounding there? The market here is hot. You can hardly find a home to buy. Maybe now is a better time to get a good price than it has been in the past.
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And yes mom has thyroid issues and take med. for it
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They have nothing let at the house action sold every thing.
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I still stick with the move them back into their own home and let the chips fall where they may. Get any kind of service possible - Meals on Wheels operates in some cities and brings out 1 nutritious meal per day. Check and see if your mom is eligible for palliative care. That is through Medicare. If she is terminal (and all of us are in one way or another) it's much like Hospice, but I don't believe that the length of life is so much of a question, but they won't do any heroics to save her life or even take her to the ER. Doctors visits and keeping her comfortable are all. I just recommended on another post to have thyroid tests done (on your mom). Hashimotos disease and other thyroid diseases are a frequently undiagnosed underlying cause of dementia.
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if the house has been cleaned and no smell, maybe the realtor should stress that in the advertisement of for sale information. again, it can play havoc on your own life, especially if you have a family of your own or a life of your own. and if they get into a facility, just think they will have other people to talk to that might share their same interests. too bad the others don't help you and too bad there is contention on the father toward everyone. it is the disease for some of it. God bless you and hope things soon work out.
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Weekends is the only time I have to go there
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No to the veterans and yes the house is for sale and has been for a yr. its going around town that they had a lot of animals. So it not selling!!!! The house was bad.... it's hour there and a hour back. He hate every one in the family there are 7 siblg.
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They are adults, lighten your load and let them go. If you wish to pay someone to come in and look after your mom, do it, but why make everyone including yourself miserable. I guess that the house is cleaned up now that they are out of it and it is for sale. Hopefully they won't get more animals.
Can they get some assistance to help care for your mom? Was dad a Veteran? Can they afford their own in home care? Would you be willing to go over a couple of hours a day and help them with meals and light cleaning? Is there any one else in the family that could pitch in?
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Yes they still live with us
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sounds like maybe they should be looking for an assisted living for the one still capable and nursing home for the one with dementia. are they living with you now? I would think the money from their house should be paying for what bills they incur that insurance don't cover. its their money. I have come to realize that the money our parents worked hard for during their lifetime should be spent on them, not a gift to us. so let them use up their money for their caretaking and go visit the baby. I am caregiver also, but not living with, but soon some actions will be taken whether parent(s) like it or not. its too much and I also have a life with children/grandchildren and I want to see them grow up. good luck, maybe someone will have better suggestions.
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