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So one of the caregivers needs a place to live with her two children he keeps telling me she's going to live there for free and take care of him he's 89 years old can't walk , catheter keeps going hospital for pneumonia this person is not going to give up her whole 24 hours a day to take care of him the place he's in now is fantastic she has lots of workers he has his own room it's a beautiful house with a dog he loves I am daughter p.o.a I do alot as it is everyday to help him but I'm not going to change catheter and diaper s I guess I should talk to this girl

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My Mother's house sits intact, 2 years after she entered the NH. She does ask to go there and I tell her to schedule a medical van to take her. She is not able to walk or get in a car.

To your dad, I would say "Schedule your own home repairs. You have a phone. You know more people than I do."

I agree with others on how to deal with the woman.
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No way no how. Do not even consider it. Dad is staying right where he is. Tell the girl it is not going to happen. If she keeps stirring Dad up speak to the management about keeping her within boundaries. If you have the power get the house sold. Talk to the lawyer and have a realtor look at the house and tell you what absolutely has to be done to get it sold.
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Lead Paint Abatement for a child under 6 is going to eat up any savings anyone would have over a group home. Nope.
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You tell him we'll see what the doctor says.
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Tells me his bringing home care giving from group home to take care of him for free rent 24 hour care how could one person handle 24 hours care and take care of her two children I like where my dad's at I don't do diapers and catheter s and he's in a clean safe environment
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I have health medical p.o.a lawyer made up so I can handle everything but how do you handle 89 year demands going home but cannot do anything at all for himself has short term memory loss can't walk catheter in diapers asperates
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Sounds like a terrible idea. If talking to the woman does not work and it looks like they are going to go ahead with this I would let Dad know that you foresee real problems with such a situation. It's his decision but you will not be involved ie getting the house ready.

Hopefully it won't come to that, hopefully it's just wishful thinking on your Dads part.
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NO way, this care worker sounds like a scam artist. She cannot possibly do what three shifts of aides do. Big Red Flag!!!
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Sunny5, if your Dad is living in a group home, curious why does he still have his own home elsewhere? Does he think he will return? Sounds like it is time to sell the house and put the money into savings or money market to help pay for his care at the group home.

I notice you live up north, has the house been winterized to keep the water pipes from bursting? Is someone shoveling the walkway/driveway so that the house doesn't look vacant? Vacant homes need an extra house insurance rider that says that the house is vacant, thus higher insurance cost. What needs to be fixed at this house? Does your Dad have extra funds to remodel?

One should never ever allow someone who is not family to move into their home rent free. Right now she has 2 children who would move in with her, you never know if she has other family that would also want to move in after the fact [not saying it would happen].

How would your Dad cope having a pre-schooler and high schooler living with him in his home? It could become a bit noisy. Would the caregiver give up her job to care for your Dad full-time? Will your Dad pay for their groceries [groceries for 4 people], as I assume she will be cooking for him.

Plus your Dad would need to up his home owner insurance to include a couple of "umbrella" policies that would help in case this caregiver and/or one of her children get hurt while in his home and on his property.
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The girl is in her thirties with a four year old and thirteen year old no husband he told her free rent how is she suppose to get paid I did mention it to manager but I guess it's really up to me to have a talk with workers let them know he's not going anywhere
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This is not something that you should entertain. Either it's dad's fantasy and the woman is saying yes, that's a great idea to placate him , or she's trying to get into a honeypot that you will not be able to get her out of once dad dies. Find out gently which one it is. If it's the latter, i would have a word with the management.

When mom was briefly in memory care, she needed one to one care for a while. One aide was quite aggressive in finding out if mom had a house and told her that she was a fool to be paying for mc and an aide too. She the aide would do it better and cheaper. Needless to say, we had her removed.
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If you are going to consider this, yes, talk with this girl. Talk in detail about responsibilities/duties, time off, before you do anything to fix up the house. I would want to know the ages of the children.
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