Dad wants his car keys. How do I handle this?

Remove the car and he won’t be reminded on a regular basis that he can no longer drive.

My father could no longer drive due to a stroke. My mother couldn’t drive due to seizures and Parkinson’s disease.

I didn’t have to tell either of them. Their doctor told them and they accepted it gracefully.

I am sorry that your dad is struggling with not being able to drive and causing grief for you. It’s a stressful situation.

He doesn’t understand and expressing his feelings about the matter.

Are you the primary caregiver? If he has others caring for him and he is working on your nerves horribly, then walk away for a while.

I wouldn’t continue an argument with him after you have already discussed it. He isn’t able to comprehend that he is no longer a safe driver.

Is he on any meds to calm him down during his agitation? You could speak with his doctor about this.

You can take safety precautions if you feel that he will try to drive the car. Disable the car in some way.

Wishing you all the best.

This forum gave me the courage to report my mom to the DMV, and I finally got the guts to do it. I could report anonymously in FL. They sent her paperwork that she ignored, I found it when I had gone to visit. She didn't know what it was for so thankfully she ignored it. The letter said she had to provide some proof, yada yada or license would be suspended by a certain date. Told her I would look into it, was not going to, and her licensed was suspended, thank God. I took all of her keys back home with me. She called AAA, and since there was no key, they were good enough to disable one of the battery connections. When I would go to visit monthly, I took a key and had to reconnect the cable. A very small things for the giant peace of mind I had knowing she could no longer drive. DO IT!

If there's any problem with dad accepting the truth about not driving anymore, simply disable the car. Remove the spark plugs for instance. He won't be driving anywhere and with his level of dementia at play, he won't likely question the broken car.

Take him to his doctor, with the doctor forewarned before the visit, and let the doctor tell him it’s no longer possible. Sometimes bad news is more believable when someone in authority delivers the blow

I made up a phony set of keys for my Dad. He just wants to know the car is still around. He’s not physically able to get to a car anyway. Just happy with the keys. Your LO doesn’t sound like he’s too mobile either. Good luck!

If he has a fob with a battery, remove the battery. The car won’t start. That’s a temporary fix. You still need to deal with the larger problem of his believing that he’s fit to drive. His doctor may need to explain and yank his license. But he could still drive, so at that point the car needs to disappear.

He apparently shouldn’t be living alone now, and if he goes to Assisted Living, they’ll provide transportation.

Some states allow a doctor to have their license removed. MIL insisted on driving until her license was pulled by the state on advice from her doctor. As soon as she lost her license, her insurance was cancelled and that was finally that.

Another option is to put in an anonymous call to DMV in his state about an unsafe driver and see what happens from that.

Or, replace his key with one that won't start the vehicle and use a therafib to keep him from ever driving again.

Or, give him the keys and completely disable the car so that he cannot drive whether or not he has or finds the keys.

Tell him honestly that he cannot drive again.
I think dishonesty and hedging creates anger.
If he asks why tell him that his doctor has told you that it is no longer safe for him to do so.