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I need reassurance i am on the right path, Dad has been at a good ALF for about 4 months now. They are kind. They treat him well. Very attentive. He has a 1 bedroom apt. Last Sunday he was having trouble breathing and they called ambulance. Hospital kept him for 3 days and i took him back yesterday. today they called me... he said they keeping him against his will and they now want to put him in memory care. i got him on the phone line and got a little strong with him like he used to with me. He wanted me down there NOW. i told him no. He settled down a little but i feel emotionally drained. i wish i could do this so it was easier on him, but he is so very obstinate. i am asking, i guess, for confirmation. i feel guilty. he wants to come home (of course). says he heard i sold his car. said he heard i was renting out his room (he lived here). i am exhausted and want to take a few days off work and just run away. Help!

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Sounds like you have confidence in the people doing the care giving. It's unfortunate that we sometimes have to make tough calls, but such is the life of a care giver. Buck up, Bucky. Do the next right thing. ;)
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Ba8alou
Congestive heart failure. --Congestive Heart Failure. They gave him about 120 mg Lasix IV over 4 days and drained the fluid. He has been diagnosed with vascular dementia but is usually able to fake his dementia with his sense of humor. He is only on lorazepam, but it doesnt really phase him. He thought he was coming home with me. But they told him he was staying and he didnt remember even being there. He IS in a good place. He just doesnt want to be there. But he doesn't want to be here either. He wants to be where he was when he was 20 years younger. I like the bubblebath. i think i will do that now.
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Sorry but they can't keep him, so move him to the memory care side. Go sign the papers, sorry.
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What was the reason for the breathing trouble ? Did the hospital clear him to go back to AL and is there supposed to be followup? Has he been diagnosed with dementia? Is there a doc following his mental state? What meds is he on? I know the wanting to run away feeling. He's in a good place, feel free to take the phone off the hook, have a glass of something and a bubblebath. Followed by a good night's sleep.
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