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He doesn't listen to anybody and sometime explosive or depressed. He has had always labile emotional character. in earlier life he was anoid with his parents and brothers for not giving him proper respect and dominance that he deserved and now he is doing same thing with his sons and wife. he thinks he is always right and every decision should be asked from him. but he himself has been a very poor decision maker. he is used to be abusive on very ordinary situations. now he thinks that his sons has used him as they are grown up and do not give him proper respect. he does not talk to us . what should we do

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Sounds like he is a narcissist. So best bet is to keep your distance, support your mom and siblings and leave him to act stupid until you can get him declared incompetent. Just about impossible to work with narcissists.
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time is an indulgent god, the old frightens especially for the aging, decisions are a way to still feel an important person, especially if you feel you're really not the time, and it is to everyone the same, you should be conciliente. be someone is making decisions, he wants to make decisions.
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Stay away from him. Sooner or later he will fall down and land in the ER. That is when you step in. As long as he is mentally competent, he is the Master of his own demise. If he can dress/bathe/feed himself and he knows what day it is and can draw a clock face and knows who the President is and pays his bills on time, no Judge will rule against him.
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Have you had your Dad assessed because I think that unless you do you won't know what you are dealing with. If he is now quite old then ageing will not help. My Mother was always a gentle person but she now has dementia and although I always looked after her until circumstances changed and I had no choice to put her in a home. She now blames me for everything and swears at me.

Hope you can cope
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What is your father's diagnosis? That is, why does he need a caregiver? Cancer? Dementia? Heart problems?

My first suggestion is for you to get some counselling. It sounds like you were raised in a dysfunctional family, or perhaps by a narcissistic parent, and you could use some support.

Maybe what you should do about his not talking to you is be glad. You cannot control his behavior. You can control yours. Send him an occasional greeting card. Visit him occasionally and if he isn't talking to you, fine, visit with his wife (your mother?) Do reasonable things that respectful sons do (counselor can help you understand that -- I'm afraid your father's idea of respectful is warped) and hold your head up. If he chooses to shut himself off from his family, that is his problem.

BUT ... it would be helpful to know more about this situation. What is his diagnosis? Do you live with him? What kind of care does he need? How old is he?
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