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Hi everyone...new to the group and look forward to sharing, offering and giving comfort to all of you!! We are about 5 years into dementia. So my question is: anyone have this issue? Dad, although still tending to his bathroom needs mostly alone, sometimes mom does find him calling for her only to walk in on a bit of a mess!!! So, into the shower he goes as she gets busy sanitizing and cleaning up after him. He is using wads of TP and it is becoming quite a frequent occurrence that the toilet is filling all the way up and almost over the top. Mom freaking out..any thoughts on how we can eliminate or reduce this overuse? Thought we had the answer with a bidet seat, which would be amazing, but he won’t know how to use but, like a child, will play with buttons and wind up breaking it!!! Now..mom plans on taking empty rolls and every morning, twirling 5 or 6 sheets around the end of roll and let him call for her if he needs more!!! Plumber there every two minutes due to clogging!!! Also thought about the disposable wipes but plumber says...they are def not good for septic system even thought it says that are ok to flush!!! Ugh...help if anyone has any good ideas for us!!!

My husband has LBD, he also will use too much toilet paper. I recently purchased an adult diaper genie which sits directly in front of him will he sits on the toilet. I have asked him not to put toilet paper in toilet, but to put it in the genie. I also keep a roll of paper towel for him to use to wipe himself, once he has removed and cleaned the area well enough, then I will ask him to stand up and bend over the genie, I then spray his bottom with warm water and make sure area is really clean. I also mix some of the no rinse body wash with the warm water, that keeps him clean and sanitized until I can get him into the shower. Hope this helps. BTW, the diaper genie really contains a lot of the smell, I really like it.
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MargaretMcKen Feb 27, 2020
Well done for some detailed truthful information!
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Get him a commode to use instead of the toilet. Then he can use wipes and all the tp he'd like without needing the plumber. The large wet wipes are best. Place a lined trash can next to the commode and he can use it to throw the wipes and tp in. Also get him a privacy screen (like a tri fold one) and let him know this is his new private bathroom as the regular one is out of order. You are much better off emptying a commode than dealing with chronic toilet issues. Your other option is to follow him into the real bathroom each and every time to help him wipe.

I have a pretty heavy duty toilet bowl myself my DH bought from Lowes. He told the salesman he wanted something that would be able to flush a bath towel or a small child. I still wouldn't flush wet wipes though, because clogs will happen with ANY toilet bowl and enough tp.

Good luck!
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MargaretMcKen Feb 27, 2020
Heaven help the public sewerage system!
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Sounds like mom needs to go with dad to the bathroom.
With every decline an adjustment has to be made. The declines can sort of creep up on you or they happen overnight. Your dads bathroom problems have crept up and now mom needs to step in and "help a bit" but soon she will have to help a lot more. She can say..I'm just going in with you to make sure there is enough toilet paper. She can monitor how well he is doing and as he needs more help she will notice. This is also when they go out look for "family restrooms" or I would take my Husband into the women's restroom but I would check it first and if anyone was there I would explain my Husband has dementia and I needed to bring him in. I never had a problem. If there was someone there that minded I would wait until they left. Most people are VERY understanding.

A few suggestions
Single ply toilet paper in the bathroom he uses.
NO wipes "flushable" or not.
ADA height toilet or get a riser.
Get an attachment that has "arms" so that he can get up from the toilet more easily.

Another option for the toilet..
There are plastic inserts that sort of look like a bucket that sit on the rim of the toilet under the seat. If you put this on the toilet no matter how much TP he puts in it it will not be flushed. Mom would have to go in and empty it but it would prevent plumbing problems and give dad a bit more sense of independence for a bit longer. But mom does need to prepare herself for stepping in a bit more often and for more of the ADL's (activities of daily living)
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Reply to Grandma1954
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The idea to limit the amount of toilet paper available in the bathroom is genius! We already took away the wipes that I'm sure were going down the toilet.
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My husband's occupational therapist suggested a bidet. There are several models on Amazon, I was able to install it onto his toilet myself with no special tools. It took a while but hub has finally learned "bidet first THEN wipe". It has helped a lot.
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 28, 2020
Great! Wonderful to have help in matters that were troubling before.
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We had to go to bedside commode only. Since doing so we have not had any plumbing issues. We use the disposable bags in the pan and that has worked out surprising well. Make sure to get the ones that have a "pad" to go in them that absorbs fluid.
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I went through this with present husband’s aunt. After paying huge plumber bills bought a new toilet from Loews that claimed to be able to flush golf balls. Problem solved. Haven’t actually tried the golf balls but so far no new clogs.
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MargaretMcKen Feb 27, 2020
The problem with this is that the 'golf balls' then go into the septic tank (or the public sewer if relevant) and don't just disappear. Fat bergs, septic tank pump-outs etc needed. 'To push the business on' doesn't solve it.
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My hubby is blind with neuropathy, so he can’t feel to wipe hisself. We live out in the country and put all toilet tissue in a lidded wastebasket w/ liner. When he sits down, I turn on the hot water, it takes a little while to warm up. I wipe him with tp to get most of it, throw it in wastebasket, and then I clean him with a warm washcloth. This, for me, is so much easier than cleaning up after his mess. He can’t feel to know that he is smearing it all over hisself. It’s just one of the many things I do to make our lives easier. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Hugs and peace of mind.
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Seems dad has reached to time to have assistance in the bathroom. Do not leave toilet paper out for his use. Mom should probably give him what he needs. She can always say she needs to go to the bathroom to check her "hair" or "makeup" while he uses the toilet.
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What about trying a "nurses hat" in the toilet?
It's the plastic pan that sits on the rim of the bowl and under the toilet seat. Used in almost every doctor's office and hospital.
Along with wet wipes, it would ease the strain on the toilet.
Should be easy to find and cost
effective.
Mom could dispose of the wipes and flush the rest.
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