I am my dad's caregiver for over a year now.I quit my job and moved in to take care of him and take care of all of his affairs. He has Dementia diagnosed over 2 years ago. He thinks I am stealing his money and he wants to take away my POA. He tells me that he isn't sick and that everybody else is wrong. There is no reasoning with him and logic is non-existent. He never offers any compensation to me for all that I do. The only income I have is my Social Security and I have to pay my own bills out of that. My mom is in a nursing home. I try to help her and do her clothes as well as my dad's. I have a sister that is not interested in helping in the slightest that lives in another state. The stress is getting kind-of overwhelming and I feel like I am by myself in all of this . I had no idea it was going to be this way at all when I moved in with him. Now I am trying to get both of them in an institution so they can live out their lives together but my dad don't want to live with my mom because it will mess up his routine. I have thought of conservative-ship. I have documentation that he can't take care of his financial affairs.........Thoughts?
https://www.agingcare.com/alzheimers-dementia
Yo need to look after you in terms of current income and also health and retirement benefits. Living with your dad is not achieving that, I gather.
Do you have his healthcare POA? That would give you more authority to determine where he lives.
My husband accused me of stealing from him early in his dementia. He also tried repeatedly to call the sheriff to report he was being held against his will. He went to a neighbor to ask them to call and report this. Sigh. This paranoia phase lasted only a couple of months, but it seemed like forever at the time. It is fairly typical of dementia.
On the stealing accusations I said, "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm trying the best I know how to take care of our money. Maybe I made a mistake. Would you like to review the bank statement?" After he looked at that statement (upside down, I might add) for half an hour he dropped the subject. You are right. You can't reason with them and logic doesn't exist in their world. The paranoia may go away, but overall dementia gets worse over time. Arranging for professional care may be a good solution.