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My brother did do anything wrong. My dad told me he doesn't like his attitude but when I mentioned that we were going to go to lunch together when we pick out new shoes for him, my father was okay with this. Why do they get like this? Last week he was mean to my sister and told her not to call him anymore after work because they don't talk about anything different. I explained to him that he hurt her feelings and he didn't even care. He just doesn't want her bothering him. What do you do with this because my brother and sister are hurt? Dad is living with me and my hubby.

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rbrown777 I hope your siblings won't take it personally. My mom got really bad with that kind of mean behavior and anti-depressants helped a lot. A small dose of celexa has made her a much happier person. I could never have lasted this long caring for her otherwise.
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rbrown, this Aging Care website has a lot of really good articles regarding Dementia. Just go to the website link below and scroll down to the article that relates to your father. Lot of helpful information.

https://www.agingcare.com/Alzheimers-Dementia
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Hello, thank you all for your comments I appreciate it. The dr said it's subcortical dementia that is affecting his frontal lobe and not to be confused with frontal lobe dementia. I should mention that he also had two episodes where he soiled himself and wet his pants. This is just recent. When he wet himself he came downstairs to eat breakfast and jut urinated in the chair and didn't recognize that he wetted himself. I had to talked to him about it shortly after. I went out and bought depends for protection. So far this is working out. I'm thinking he is losing the ability to feel the urge or recognize what it feels like to have to go to the bathroom. Thoughts?
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I cared for my hubby who had cancer and his mom who had dementia plus she had poor hearing and eyesight and she was a diabetic she lived with us and she would try and wander out of the house so I tried to keep her in and she would get mad at me yell scream at me and she would open up her closet door look up and say please let her out to people who wasn't there etc so it hurt my feelings but I blew it off knowing she didn't mean it.when my hubby was on his last days I promised him that id care for his mom as long as I can I feel so bad that I didnt after he passed I really tried but with no income from ss I had to work more I had respite care but only for a few hours a week and so when she started to fall a lot and my in laws her other son kept pushing the option of nursing home in laws were less than helpful when I needed them to sit with her so I could do something for me .so I gave in and as soon as I said nursing home it felt to me them were over joyed and I said how I promised Mike .it's a longer story but she passed away too now I was at both their bedside when they went away .my hubby July 2013 and mom August 2014 Mike was 54 n mom 91
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Why is he acting like this? Because he has dementia.

We tend to think of dementia as loss of memory, and it does include that. But we may not be as aware that when the brain is damaged it can affect any and every part of the body, thinking, and behavior. (Depending on the nature and location of the damage.)

Urge your siblings to become informed about dementia, and to try very hard not to take these very hurtful behaviors personally.
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I should have asked if the doctors specified which subcortical dementia it might be.
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rbrown, if he hasn't been like this before, it is part of the disease in his brain. It sounds like the emotion center has been damaged. I hope you'll let your siblings know not to take it personally. It is just the irritability and dulling that is going on in his mind. I guess you can tell your sister to call and talk about different things -- that could be fun to come up with some different things. About this telling his kids he doesn't want to see them anymore, I would say to ignore. I know it stings.

Sometimes I wonder if our parents might have active imaginations and invent scenarios in their heads that never really happened, then get mad about it. Many times I can't figure out how things go wrong. They just do and we often get the verbal brunt of it. It's not right, but I don't know what we can do except to let it roll off of us.
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Dad might need some antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds. In the early phases, the patient knows he is losing control and is very frustrated. Anger will flare. Medication helps.
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