Follow
Share

He seems to think up stories involving my sister and myself.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Dear viva,

Your dad likely has some form of dementia starting. He is living in the past, in his own reality, and he is doing something called "confabulation", which I won't try to explain because you can google it. It is a way of making things up to fill in his memory gaps.

BEFORE you run off to a doctor for a diagnosis, be sure that you have his legal paperwork in order. As long as he understands that he wants you and your mom to help him, he will probably be okay to get his signature authorized in front of a notary giving the two of you his medical/health power of attorney (HPOA or MPOA) and his durable financial power of attorney (DPOA) which should undoubtedly be off the immediate type.

If your folks have property, you may want to see an elder certified (NAELA) attorney to draw up Will & Trust documents as well as s Nomination of Conservator. These types of papers generally need to be sign in front of an attorney. An elder attorney can also advise you regarding asset protection if your dad needs to go into a nursing home. It makes a big difference if you can get everything in place 5 years before they have to be admitted to a care facility.

Do not hesitate in looking into that. It should be done ASAP because some memory problems that appear to be dementia are caused by correctable problems. So, you want to also get to the doctor ASAP as your second step following IMMEDIATELY behind and with the utmost of speed.

If your folks have an HMO, they will have to go to their primary doctor to get a referral to a neurologist or a neuro-psychiatrist. After diagnosis, he will need either of those two or a psychiatrist to continually evaluate his medication. Please DO NOT ALLOW a primary care doctor to prescribe psychoactive medication.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

From what you say, your father does have an impairment. His memory is not functioning normally and he is not fully sharing the reality we are in.

You might start with a complete examination by a geriatrician. (At this point, a geriatrician is a good choice for primary care provider.) Tell this doctor in advance about Dad's memory issues. He or she may then refer your dad for further testing and perhaps to see a geriatric psychiatrist or a behavioral neurologist.

If he is in beginning stages of dementia or if he has mild cognitive impairment, this is an excellent time for your parents to get their legal paperwork up to date. This includes Power of Attorney, Medical Proxy, Advance Healthcare Directive, and wills. It sounds like your father is competent to handle these kinds of decisions right now. He may lose that capacity in the future. Now is the time for both Mother and Dad to get their ducks in a row.

Meanwhile, don't let his stories upset you. Do you think they might be memories? You could use the stories as stepping stones to discuss the past with him. He might be more comfortable there. And even if he can't remember when you last visited he may be able to remember in detail a time the three or four of you visited some relative, when you were seven. Encourage him to talk about the past.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

My parents are married dad is 81 mom 75. She is caring for him right now. They do not have impairments luckily except for dad's memory is going and he keeps asking where we are? It seems like he seems like we are little. We all visit weekly, my youngest sister lives close she is over there 3 times a week. What kind of doctor we need to take him too?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Could you explain your situation a little more? How old are your parents? Do they live together? What impairments do they each have? How often do you visit? How about your sister?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.