To be honest, he has memory issues (no clear diagnosis yet, despite my bio) and the voice mail was very long and rambling. But he always has problems with his phone, and I'm constantly helping him. My feeling is: I don't think this is okay, full stop. Right? There shouldn't be cash transactions in AL. My husband is on the fence, feeling that if it's just $10 and it's someone else living there who wants to help my Dad with something, what's the harm?
But I'm right, right? My husband is thinking about college kids in a dorm, "hey dude, if I give you ten bucks will you fix my computer?" not people with memory issues living in AL. :)
None of the residents in the AL know how to fix your father's phone. If you pay the ten bucks and the phone doesn't function perfectly, breaks down again, or the resident makes it worse because he doesn't really know what he's doing, there will be trouble.
You're dealing with elderly people who are probably also bored as hell and many with memory issues.
I've worked as a caregiver with elderly people for almost 25 years. I worked in a lovely AL facility too. One resident "hired" another to hand knit a baby blanket with a matching hat and booties for her granddaughter's baby shower gift. It was beautifully done and she got a real bargain for what she paid. But then the complaints started.
The buyer didn't want those colors. She didn't want that particular knitting pattern. She thought she paid too much. I got the complaints incessantly from her and how she wanted her money back. Then the battle lines got drawn because some residents sided with her and others with the lady who did the knitting and the battle of Gettyburg ensued.
The real underling factor was that the buyer of the baby things wanted them for free and was jealous because the resident who knits still had a car and went out regularly. So she caused some trouble.
Please don't let any money exchange hands in the AL.
People living in care facilities are there because there's something wrong with them. It doesn't necessarily have to be a mental condition or dementia though. Take yourself for example. Your mind is right as rain, but you're physically disabled.
In this case it's people dealing with technology. Nobody in that AL can fix the phone. It needs to be brought somewhere to be fixed by professional tech people.
Does he use it to call you? If he cant, no point in a cell phone. I'd find a way for the phone to disappear and redirect.
Get him a rotary phone if your feeling guilty and have to have one. And you can call him periodically, so he won't have to try to remember your number. And you provide comfort that way. You know he'll be there in the eve so there ya go.
I wouldn't pay anyone. Today it's 10, then dad has more problems, another 10, then another, or 20 today bc you already paid 10 last week etc. What happens if you pay it, (lets say person is legit for argument sake) 5 mins later dad messes up phone again. Now what? You threw away 10 bucks for nothing. Don't do it. He'll be ok without a phone. You said he has memory problems. I'd save that monthly bill for hair cuts or something else important. At his age it's a luxury mot a necessity. A rotary phone is better.
It may be cheaper to just get a landline installed. Then have it set up for local calls only from his end. The cost cannot be anymore than a cell phone a month. Then find an old fashioned phone where you pick it up when it rings and hang up when ur done. They do lose longterm memory too. Will forget how to use a cell but will remember how to use a phone they used back before cells.
My husband’s phone quit working because of the 5G upgrade. The apps don’t even work. That could be the reason your father is having trouble. Or it could just be your Dad- my dad can answer the phone and make phone calls, but he never “hangs up” right, so you can’t call him back.
Talk to the Head Nurse and ask to have one of the staff help him. I would bet they’ve assisted residents with their cellphones a number of times!
The phone was a very simple android, but I had to buy a new one this past summer due to the switch from 3G to 4G service (could be your dad's issue as others have mentioned) but I got the phone and programmed it first, removed as many confusing apps as possible and added face pictures to the phone numbers she most often tries to call so all she has to do is look for a face (if she can remember) and press the face image and the call goes through. The social workers at the facility may be able to help too. The new simple phone is fromConsumer Cellular they have good, inexpensive cell phones for seniors (some with very large buttons and other features, and they offer not hugely expensive service plans. Have the phone delivered to you, so you set it up and then send/deliver it to your dad. I gave my mom a laminated picture "info graphic" I created to remind her how to use it. So far that seems to be working.
I would NOT have other residents at the NH fool with the phone, who knows what they know or not AND depending on what data is on the phone, there could be identify theft issues. My mom had one credit card tied to her cell as she had plugged that info in to a shopping app over a decade ago (got that removed when we got the new phone). Also, some folks may have banking or other sensitive financial information on their cell phone, if they ever at one time even years in the past did things like on-line deposits/banking, pay bills on line, etc. My mom had her SSN number on her phone too, as a "record in phone contacts" as she could not remember the number so this was a way she would look it up. Obviously, removed that too on the new phone. So best to not let others have access to the phone and best to wipe it of any sensitive financial, banking or personal information whether it is just in Dad's hands or others have access to it.
Even if Dad has had this phone for ages and never had a problem, now that Dementia maybe setting in, he now has problems remembering how to use it. People with Dementia have tried to use their TV remotes as phones and visa versa.
What are the problems. Bad reception? That could be the problem on where the AL is situated. I get lousy reception in my living room. Its like a dead zone. An old phone thats 3G and he needs one thats 4G. I had problems because of that. Maybe the ALs WiFi is not strong enough to handle everyone using it. What does Dad use the phone for?