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Dad who is 90 has dementia and refuses to go to the doctor and day care he just wants stay in his bed and room most of the day. The doctor visit is usually once every 2 months and day care is 3 days a week. It is to the point literally where I have to get someone to physically to lift him out of his bed even though he is able to walk. Needless to say this is creating a lot of stress. He has never been on anxiety medicine and the doctor gave me some lorazepam but this does not have any affect on him. I just need something which will calm him down so I get take him out to the doctor and other places he needs to go to. I also wanted to ask how long anxiety medicine is effective; can you give it at night and it will still be effective the next morning as most of his activities that I would like to take him to are before noon. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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Sorry recently ive been honest with mum "mum you smell a bit phewy" she then goes and has a bath? might be worth a try they have no sense of smell WE DO!
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mum goes to bed at midnight and gets up at 2pm shes fine had a few nasty episodes with her but shes calmed down now? get his doc to check for depression although mum is not depressed its just part of the dementia if shes calm and happy i let her be!
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Thanks for the suggestions. I guess I should have been more clear about the medicine.The lorazepam I only gave him once and he seemed as feisty as ever so I did not give him any more as I thought it was suppose to calm him down not make him more hyper. He can get up and walk on his own without any assistance and will even go outside when he wants to so mobility is not an issue. The problem is he will not get up out of his bed unless it is his idea so I guess he is kind of stubborn. I know he is not tired or sleepy as he stays in the bed 12 - 14 hours a day which is too much I think. I just was trying to find something which will chill him out and let me get him to where he needs to go without a fuss.
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HUGS! mums the same i think she is afraid that they will suggest a home? but she hasnt seen her doc in a year and wont go to daycare,wont cooperate with carers,has a bath once a week? ive given up nurse has been up but makes no difference she will not do anything shes asked so i let her at it until i can cope no more if i push she will get so nasty i just leave it.
I think as pam says i might ask for a visiting nurse to come and check on her as she wont move. But money is tight here in the health service and i dont think they will send a nurse unless shes dying? yep thats how bad it is here!
Good luck with this id love to know how you get around this one!
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Call his MD and report the refusals. MD can order a visiting Nurse, and an OT person to get him in the shower.
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Unless he is being prescribed an extended release form, Lorazepam usually leaves the system in about 4 hours, seldom longer than 6. It's an anti anxiety med. It can help with aggression if the aggression is brought on by anxiety but it usually doesn't help much with depression or lethargy. My uncle became very aggressive in the beginning stages of Alzheimers, that was because he was confused and frightened by what was happening to him. Lorazepam helped a lot, but now that he is late stage he is sleeping most of the time and has no need for it. Is your Dad combative when you ask him to get out of bed or passive?
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(should have read) * can't lift him and place him in a chair....
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You said the lorazepam has no effect on him but your dad is difficult to arouse and get moving in the mornings. My first thought was that it's because of the lorazepam. Medications affect people differently. If I gave my dad a Benedryl at night he would sleep well into the next morning and be groggy all day. He had absolutely no tolerance for anything like that.

Try cutting the lorazepam but consult your dad's Dr. first before you change any medication. See if a lower dosage makes a difference in the morning.

You should not have to be physically lifting your dad out of bed in the morning. If he is that listless and lethargic he needs to be seen by a Dr. and if you can't physically get him out of bed call 911.

And if it is determined that this is the latest phase in his dementia you will probably have to begin considering other arrangements for your dad. You can lift him and place him in a chair or pick him up from a chair and place him in bed. You can't carry him around all day.
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I think you may need some advice from someone who is familiar with people his age. I'm sure you'll get that here.

Could it be the medications are making him too tired to get out of bed?

How lucid is he? What if you told him that insurance was requiring tests at the doctor office and you have to take him. It's the company who is requiring it. Sometimes that makes it more about complying with the rules than him being sick. It worked with my LO.
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