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He gets angry all the time and lying about my mom having cancer to family. My dad is constantly paranoid and has alienated our entire family. He was telling friends and family my mother has a brain tumor... she doesn't but he REFUSES to admit that he lied. He thinks everyone around him is evil basically and wont take any help. I try to help and give him routines, dishes, laundry, raking what not.. but he wont do anything!! he is slipping further in to a depression but an angry one. I am basically the only one other than my mother helping as again.. he has alienated our entire family.

any suggestions?????

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Katie I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. It sounds like your dad needs to see a good geriatric neurologist and get on some medications to help him with his paranoia and his depression.

He can't help his "lying" - because his brain is broken. So it's not something he is doing on purpose. His brain isn't working right. You and your mom need to use any methods you can to get him treated by someone who can help him. If you read through some of the threads on here about dementia, you'll see lots of similar stories and stories where loved ones got the right medications and were helped to function more normally.

Also you and your mom can start watching the Teepa Snow videos on Youtube about dementia, so you can understand more about what your dad is going through. And try to help educate the rest of your family. He doesn't want to be doing any of this - his brain is broken and he can't help it.
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He needs to be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist. Stop trying to get him to admit to lying. It's not lying when your brain is broken.
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