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I have been on FMLA since the middle of October taking care of my mom who had cancer and just passed last Wednesday. Her funeral is this week and I will return to work next week. My paycheck today barely covered one bill let alone anything else. The money is there to give me, so that is not the problem but is it ok to ask?

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Sorry about your mom. I can relate to the loss. Yes it is okay to ask. I am caregiver for my dad, I only work 2 days a week (to actually save what sanity I have left). But he wants me here all the other times and to take him where he needs to go, take care of house, food, and whatever else needs to be done. I have told him that in order for me to do that, I will need help from time to time to afford food and essentials. He is totally understanding with this, though it is still hard for me to ask him...so used to working and being independent, but to make him happy, my husband and I sacrifice. Your dad probably isn't thinking of that right now. My mom passed 6 years ago and I still haven't had the actual time to mourn her because right after she passed, dad's Parkinson's got worse and my second caregiving began. Don't feel bad to ask (I understand how you feel) but I am sure he will help you out for all you have done. Hang in there! People are very nice and understanding so continue to ask questions in this forum! We all understand. Big hug to yo!
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I have to say I am a bit surprised that every answer I have read so far said yes. While I don't think it would be WRONG for him to pay... but I think it is also part of the "JOB" description of being a child of a dying parent? Every family is different... but I have been caring/living with for my parents for the last 2 years and 11 months where I had to give up my job to do so. Before that I also cared for them bringing food, groceries, driving, dr appts, cooking, etc for many years. My mom died the week before Thanksgiving. I have never asked my dad for a dime. I still keep up my own car insurance, phone, storage fees, etc. They didn't get paid to care for me as a kid..... it was my turn now.

With that said, IF your dad can financially afford to help you out and it wouldn't be a hardship for him, then ask. What have you got to loose?
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I am sorry for your loss and you were brave to take care of her in her last days, however, I believe this falls under a child's obligation to serve their parent in need. Tell your dad (who is grieving as well) your paycheck will be shorter than what you are used to, and then stop talking. If he immediately springs to help you financially, then accept it graciously, but he does not have to pay you for helping out. Things might be tight for awhile, but call your creditors and tell them your mother just died, and you helped her out. I just did this with Hyundai Motor finance when I had a leak, and they put the Nov. payment on the end of my loan, and I don't have to pay the Nov. payment. Good luck!
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I bet that your dad just hasn't had time to realize that your paycheck is so short. Perhaps an uncle or someone could give him a hint. "How is Julie going to get by this month, without her paycheck?"
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So sorry for your loss.

Sometimes I think when it comes to money reimbursement, it depends if you are the son or if you are the daughter.

If it was a son working full-time and using FMLA to help care for an aging parent, the father would automatically help with the pay. If it was a daughter working full time and using FMLA, for some strange reason it is expected of her to come to help out, with no financial reimbursement.

As Charles1921 above had mentioned, "hint" about a loan to help tied you over, and see what your Dad will do or say.
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Yes it is more than OK; you need this money to make ends meet! If it is available you deserve it. DO WHATEVER YOU CAN TO GET IT!
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Every family situation is different, but it is possible that your dad would offer if he were not dealing with the loss of his wife. I would very simply tell him that you cannot cover the bills that accrued while you were on leave, that you were honored to take care of your mother and help out and that you would be very appreciative if he would help make up the difference in your pay. I have found out over the course of my life that simple honesty works best.
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My sympathy to you in the passing of your Mother and as others have said, I am sure both she and you got great comfort from your ability to be there for her. You will be forever comforted by the memories of the kindness you shared.

I did something similar and in hind sight, I should have understood that no one knew what I was dealing with. Unless you are very clear, your Dad can not possibly know what is happening with you. Please take time to figure out what you need, what bills have piled up. Consider both what income you lost as well as what it would have cost him to hire care for your Mom. The care you provided can not have a price, but Please do sit down with him and ask for him to consider giving you a gift ... at the very least. It will be non-taxable to you if he gifts you something and a gifting strategy may be a good thing for him to consider going forward anyway.

In retrospect, my lesson from going through what you have recently experienced is that no one in my family, neither my mother, nor later my siblings felt they owed me anything. I should have set it up ... up front, but even though this is now after caring, I still think you should ask, because people just don't have any ideal all the things that have come up for you, what you gave up and how disruptive this has been and may still be going forward as you rejoin the workforce.

My best wishes to you.
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I am sorry for your loss. I have a situation about my Dad who lives with my Stepmom in San Francisco. Dad is so weak from heavy medications for his hip pain; he suffered at least two falls at home and is now bedridden. Family tells me I cannot see him because he may be stressed because he does not really know me at this point. To make a long story short, my divorced parents of 50+ years placed my in foster care as a child and teenager. After high school in the East Bay, I moved back to S.F. in my mother's place. She would not allow me to see him for some very conflicting and abusive reasons. Without any real relationship all those years, I got cheated out of seeing Dad. Prayers to to my 91 year old father and 94 year old mother.
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I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom.

Being on FMLA, you did the job that your dad would have had to hire someone for had you not been there and from what you said, it's cost you since your paycheck isn't what it usually is. You didn't say if there's any money that your mom left you but if there is of course it's ok to ask. If there isn't I'd agree with what someone above said and wait till things settle down a little bit and then broach the subject with your dad. Have a reasonable amount in mind and ask your dad if he thinks it's appropriate for you to be compensated.
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Sorry for you loss. I am surprised your father didn't offer if he knew you lost pay because of it. Maybe if you hinted about a "loan" to help with your bills till you get back on your feet maybe he will say let me give you the money for your help. And for wamnanealz caring for a parent is not a sacrifice. I was honored to care for my father his last month on earth.
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Of course it's OK to ask!!
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So sorry about your loss and during the holidays. At least you were there for her to the end. I wish you much peace and strength for the funeral. As for your asking for compensation, did your parents have a fund set up for such a situation as caregiving when they aren't able to care for themselves? The reason I ask is because I had that similar thing happen only I lived 900 miles away from my mom. She was a victim of medical malpractice and negligence which blindsided all of us. But her financial guy said she had established a trust fund for those of us out of town to use for travel expenses should the time come when she would be ill. So we were at least able to repay ourselves plane/train/pet boarding tickets because of the situation. We couldn't use the funds for any personal things just the travel since she lived in a state far from everyone. But it did help because I wasn't making much of anything and getting that back into my account sure made a lot of difference. I'm sure if you mention to your dad your need, he would help you. But of course, timing is everything. Wait till the dust settles on the funeral and things start quieting down somewhat. I wish you and your dad healing from the loss.
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YES!!!!
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I am very sorry to hear about your mother's passing. It is a loss like no other. I know that spending time with her in her final days meant a lot to her and to you. Those memories are very precious. As far as the money is concerned, you know your dad better than anone else. Perhaps when things settle in a few days, you could mention to your dad that you took the time off work because you wanted to be with your Mom and help her, but that it put a hardship on you financially, and ask if he would be willing to help you a little so that you can pay your bills. I think he would be willing to help you, especially if the money is there. Maybe he already knows this and has plans to help you. I hope so. So to answer your question, I think it would be ok to ask, at the right time and in the right manner.
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YES!!!!! You have sacrificed in the most loving way for your mother and you should receive the difference from Dad. The question is "How to ask for it." That is a sticky situation. I guess I would just approach dad and tell him that you really need the money which is no doubt true.
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