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He had a history of heart attack, quadruple bypass, afib, pacemaker, and as of January, CHF. I feel like I must have missed something because he seemed fine the afternoon before. And his bloodwork was fine a few weeks before, his appetite was good, and the swelling in his legs was minimal. I just don't understand. He was 87 but until he went thru sepsis and a broken hip last year was healthy and strong. I really thought he would get better. Was I just in denial?!

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I'm an new registered nurse, I had a patient that I had only known for one shift pass away unexpectedly overnight. I was incredibly shocked and saddened to hear about it when I went back to work for my shift the next afternoon. It has been 8 weeks and I still think about the lovely patient everyday (sometimes there's tears). I think it's tough for everyone to lose someone so suddenly, but it's better than a slow painful passing..
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Thank you so much. I'm still dealing with these feelings that I missed something and could have done more. Posts like yours really help me to knew I'm not the only one.
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No you should not be surprised just very blessed.
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My dad died in his sleep when he was making what seemed like a miraculous recovery from pneumonia. He was in rehab and slated to go back to his assisted living apartment the next day. He did he did have chf. It was a shock I'd seen him just a few hours earlier but it was easier than watching my mom slowly waste away from dementia like i am doing now.
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Thank you. You've all made me feel so much better. Hugs and love to you all.
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I am sure you could not have done a thing. I am sorry for your loss but glad that you have good memories of your dad!

I forget the % but after 80, quite a large number of patients who break a hip do not survive longer than 1 year. The septic infection can be telling. We have now been through two septic infections and are 2 years past the original surgery (2 more followed on same hip)...but I know everyday we have is a blessing...some days it is just hard to realize that because I am so tired.
Sounds like your dad had a good long life and left a family behind that was enriched by his presence.
God Bless
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If it happens suddenly like that, for good reasons but unexpectedly, a very old friend of my mother's put it like this when my father dropped dead: "it's better for him, worse for you."

It's good that your father, ironically, was feeling pretty well when he died; and you should feel proud that you'd kept him so comfortable. But I sympathise with your feeling of having been somehow fooled and cheated. You weren't in denial, just enjoying the good bits while they lasted. "Where there's life, there's hope" don't they say? You can't have been wrong to hope.
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My father had CHF but no bypass. Dropped dead at 83. May you live so long and die so quick. At 80, I told him every day was a gift from God and I asked him how he wanted to go. " Well, at 90" he mused " I want to be shot by a jealous young husband."
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I think often we are not prepared for the death of a loved one, no matter their condition. I am glad you have such great memories of him. My condolences on your loss. (((((((hugs)))))))
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my father had a history of chf with pacemaker/defibrillator. he fell and fractured his hip and had a very slow recovery. despite a diagnosis of colon cancer a few months later, he decided not to have the surgery to remove the mass because he didn't think he could handle it. My mother and father (married 50 years) decided on hospice together. He died a few days later before hospice care could even start. It was hard but I know he knew I loved him and he always said "thank you" to me. :) it sounds like you were a wonderful daughter to him and gave him great care. Love to you.
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Thank you. I have more wonderful memories than I can count. I had a great dad. I am just second guessing myself I think because I miss him so much.
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No, and no. This could have gone either way and what could have been done to keep him going was all in place. Watching someone die slowly sucks, and losing someone more suddenly does too...this way he felt pretty good up to his last day of life and that could be counted a plus, even though it is more of a shock for you. I am sorry for your loss, and hope you have some good or even wonderful memories as well as these hard ones to comfort you as you go on!
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