Dad in AL memory care is getting nasty. Any advice?

Being aggressive is a common step on the journey of dementia. If your dad is in a memory care/dementia unit then it is likely that he will not remember that "we are not rude people". As people understand their world less and less, they can misinterpret what is happening more and more. The aggression may be due to having less of a filter than in the past and or it may come from not understanding what is going on around him and being frustrated/scared/etc. of it. An anti-anxiety medication may help. Nursing homes are not allowed to use medication to make it easier for them to care for residents so their use needs to be for sound medical reasons. An UTI can significantly change how a person with dementia thinks and acts and that change can happen overnight.

I'm not familiar with that kind of blockage, but just the fact he is in memory care, would indicate to me that he has significant dementia.

I would imagine that his anxiety must be making him quite miserable. I would certainly discuss medication to help him. Not a sedative, but something to help with his mood. I'm not familiar with tranquilizers. I would be afraid they would create a fall risk and that's not good with a 95 year-old. There are meds that work differently in that they treat depression and/or anxiety without making them sleepy or dizzy.

My cousin is so much better since she went on Cymbalta. She is calm and content, without drowsiness. I would discuss the options with his doctor, if it turns out that it isn't an UTI. I'm sure others here have their experiences with this type of thing as well.

Thank you everyone for your input. I am leaving it to his AL facility to do what is best for him. As for the clogged artery, all doctors, heart, vascular etc decided that the best coursecof action for him is Plavix. It's too risky to do anything invasive. His minor stroke in May was caused by a piece of the blockage breaking loose. Thankfully there was no lasting damage from the stroke. I think it worsened the dementia. You know, this site is my go to therapy group! Thanks again everyone and Gol bless you all as you go on your own journies.

I'd be concerned about the carotid blockage. That was the cause of my husband's debilitating stroke. Our doctor explained that when blood can't get through the artery, clots form in the blockage. When a piece of the clot breaks off, it enters the brain and causes a stroke. We found out too late, and the consequences were devastating. Best wishes.

The treatment to clear his clogged artery sounds risky. I read about it, but it has its own set of risk and it seems there is a risk of stroke just to have the procedure. I assume you have considered all of that.

Regarding his use of the walker.....if he's not inclined to use it, then I'm not sure how successful the facility will be to convince him to use one. Short of constantly following him around and insisting, I'm not sure how that is done. I would be more inclined to consider some medication that would help him with anxiety. And not the kind that drugs you up, but some that makes you feel more content. Meds like Ativan, that are supposed to be for anxiety, never worked for my cousin. She was still anxious and nervous, plus she kept falling down.

I would also discuss your dad's agitation with the memory care staff. See if they can seat him in the dining room in a place that he's not as likely to become agitated. See if they can bath him at times that he is not as upset. They know him by now and should be able to help in avoiding some difficult situations in the meantime. Maybe, if the doctor can prescribe a med for him he will return to his peaceful self.

The AL facility is on the ball that they checked a UTI, since both UTIs and other infections (even pneumonia)can cause increased confusion. My father has Alzheimers and we've been taking him to a geriatric psychiatrist to give him meds to calm h is agitation. What's been working for him is an antiseizure medicine called depakote..Definitely worth exploring meds but you need a geriatric psychiatrist because regular psych drugs do not usually help with Alzheimer's patients.. Good luck!

Most Memory Care facilities operate on the Assisted Living model, where there is a menu of care levels. As you need more assistance, the price of your " package" goes up.

Make sure he's seen by a geriatric psychiatrist who can advise about meds. You are not doing meds for convenience, you're doing them because your father is in psychic pain.

we often forget no matter what the diagnosis is other problems will plague the patient. people require observation when they cannot say what is wrong think of how you would act if you were ill and could not tell someone. keep doing right hugs and love.

The AL is doing the right thing by first checking for a UTI. The next step is to have him evaluated for medication. My Mom's AL has a contract with an outside agency that does an eval and suggests what might be appropriate. My mom and many elderly patients are receiving Trazodone, and it has helped her. It doesn't sedate. He may have to go through a period of time to find the correct dosage for him. I don't suggest making him use his walker if he doesn't really need it. That may make for more confrontation and increase the behaviors. My mom could be quite lethal with her walker at times, threatening people with it, or threatening to throw it through a window! Wishing you luck.

When a friend for whom I have DPOA became uncooperative in her memory care floor and resisted the staff's care (due to her incontinence), I was told to take her to a geriatiric-psych ward at a nearby hospital to find an anti-psychotic medication that would help her. Those are tricky meds to deal with an must be used carefully. It took 3 1/2 weeks there to find the right meds, the right dosage and the times of day to administer them. She was not dopey from them, could function more normally with them, could walk, etc. and allowed the staff to clean her up and see to her needs. Her health insurance covered those costs. Her downward spiral from frontal temporal dementia was nearing the end, though, and she only lived another 3 months before her brain would not allow her to swallow food anymore. Hospice saw to her needs at the end and monitored everything to keep her comfortable.