My father is 85 years and can't leave his house because of his condition (primarily congestive heart failure). He isn't yet confined to bed but is unable to do much other than take a shower or sit at the table for a meal. His appetite is in decline, he is losing weight, and his blood pressure is low. He's been in in-home hospice care for 5-6 weeks. My mother lives at home too; she's 84 and in good health, but has severe arthritis and she can't take care of their home by herself. I live two hours north of them in Denver. One of my brothers lives five minutes away from our parents; his 31 year old daughter lives with him. My niece has been over to her grandparents' house once since my dad was enrolled in hospice care, and that was because my mother made dinner for her and her father. Other than that my parents haven't seen or spoken to her, not even by phone. My mom reports that my brother occasionally stops by to "check on us", but ends up talking about his crappy job and his problems. He does mow the lawn for my parents, but I think he's convinced himself that fulfills his obligations to them.
My oldest brother lives out of state and has some pretty serious health problems of his own, so there's not much he can do to help.
My sister and her husband live near me in the Denver area and have not visited my parents since Easter. When I asked my sister if we could expect them for Mother's Day she said she didn't know, it hurts her to sit in a car that long and besides that her husband "feels like shit".
My sister's daughter-in-law, who is one of the best people I've ever known, took time out of her busy schedule to take her kids on the two hour drive to spend some time with grandpa and grandma. She also sent my parents a family history activity that my parents have enjoyed greatly.
I don't mind doing as much as I can for my parents. I don't mind being the primary caretaker. What has me almost enraged is how my sibs and nephews/nieces are avoiding our parents/grandparents. I don't know what to do with all the anger I feel toward them. I want this resolved without my parents knowing about it and before we are faced with a funeral. Any words of advice would be appreciated.
My siblings have no clue what goes on behind the scenes.