Dad having spine surgery, Mom bedridden. What will the hospital require for his discharge?

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In the attempt to prepare for these moments they have REFUSED to entertain any possibility of moving from their private home to any facility that would make life easier on them. Now dad needs surgery and he is mom's full time caretaker. This change of events (dad needing surgery) may be the catalyst to force them to look at reality. What will the hospital require for his discharge? Will they finally be "forced" so to speak to get help?

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Here, is someone going with dad to appointments?
Is dad telling the doctor " oh, we don't have to worry about after. My daughter will quit her job and move in" ?

Years ago, my grandma broke her hip. It was repaired, but grandma could no longer walk. She said grandly to all her friends, " I'm going to be an invalid, and my daughter will care for me!".

My mom ( the daughter) had a two year old, in addition to us two primary school kids. "No, mother, you're going to have to go to rehab to learn to walk again". This was 1966; thank God for Medicare. Grandma never really forgave my mom for sending her to "that place" and making her do all that hard work. My mother visited once a week.

I learned my tough attitude towards entitled elders at my mother's knee.
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I can't imagine a doctor would perform surgery if aftercare is not sufficient. I'd wonder about their judgment. It sounds very concerning.

Also, has he gotten a second opinion on spinal surgery? How old is he?
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Hwa, you no longer suggest things to them.

You go with dad to doc appointments and explain the situation to the doctor. You then allow the doctor to tell your father what the arrangements are going to be.

Probably also a good idea to fax or email the doctor about the situation before the appointment.
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All of the above is absolutely true! :) Because they get livid when we attempt to suggest solutions and refuse modifications we either recommend or implement, we are HOPING that the medical professionals will make it clear that they have no choice but to make plans. They are now, with just days before surgery going to look into some type of in-home assistance. I'm afraid at this late date that they may have a rude awakening and their mismanagement and stubborn attitude is going to bite us all in the butt. Thank you for your responses!
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Dad's going to unable to fully care for Mom for a long period after the surgery (and maybe forever -- they are both aging and things change monthly.) So there absolutely must be a plan in place for the hospital stay, rehab if that is recommended, and healing time at home. I really like BB's suggestion to talk to the hospital social worker before the surgery.

Yes, this could be the catalyst for a life style change.
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I would talk to the hospital social worker before dad goes for surgery.

Is dad going to rehab after surgery? What is your plan for mom while dad is out of Commission? What is THEIR plan?
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