My Dad (93) has started asking for $30 when we visit each week. He doesn't go out and won't tell us what he needs it for. Should we worry?

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He's been there for 4 years and this just started a couple of months ago. It's his money so that's fine but I'm concerned he could be getting threatened. What might he be using it for?

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Captain - you da' best!!!

I'll go with the happy thought that Dad has become quite the old rooster @ the NH. At my mom's NH in the canteen or sundries shop, they have all kinds of stuff especially hair accessories. Bobby pins with butterflies, beribboned hair scrunchies, silk flowers barrettes, etc which the residents can buy. (The residents are a riot of color in their hair during Fiesta Week, just too funny!) Maybe Dad is buying things for a couple of favorite ladies???? You can go and ask them if Dad is shopping there. The beauty shop charge for wash,cut, set & b.o is $ 15 too, $ 30 would mean he pays for this for someone twice a month. You can ask the "beauty operator" as my mom would say, if dad is paying for someone special. If both of those pan out, speak with the activities person to see if they are having vendors come in - like girl scouts selling cookies, boy scouts ditto for popcorn, or a church auxiliary that comes in to do resale (my mom's current NH does this and it is really terrific, they bring clothes in on racks and set up tables with small stuff, prices low, residents love it; everybody gets a voucher for $ 5.00 too)

Does this NH do trips? If so & he is going, he may feel better just having some $ just in case.

Another thought, what is the situation with his personal needs trust account @ the NH? If he is on Medicaid, they allow from $ 35 - 90 a month for them to have as their personal needs allowance. If the NH gets his SS and retirement, then each month his trust builds by this amount. But if family is dealing with doing his co-pay to the NH, he may not have anything in his NH trust fund like the other residents do. So he asks you for $ instead. Or he doesn't understand how to deal with the business office to get $ out of his NH trust account so instead he asks you for money. Maybe that is what is happening??
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He is in assisted living, with only mobility problems. It doesn't say that he is incompetent. Ask what he needs money for, by asking if he needs more, etc. "How much is whatever you are spending it on, Dad?" Does the facility take them to Walmart? Restaurants? Maybe he gets his hair cut, a lot. Just ask.
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If it was me, I still would give him the money but in a smaller amount and see if he notices. Try to find out what he is using it for or thinks he needs to have it for. He grew up in a depression era, so he may be hoarding it somewhere. Ask his doctor for his opinion also. If he hasn't seen him for two or three months, it may be time to have him do so. One of the early signs of age related mental changes is this type of behavior.

In thinking about your comment, I did a quick search here and found this post:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/strange-obsessions-OCD-elderly-parent-138673.htm

Marlo Sollitto wrote it and it is done very well.
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If there's nothing real he can spend it on, don't give him real money.
Give him fake/play money.
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There is a man at mom's ALF who likes to give the ladies small gifts. He is a sweet little flirt in a power chair. Could that be his angle?
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I wouldn't be. How much trouble can he get into with $30? ;)

If it brings him joy? I'd keep right on forkin' it over.

Threatened? I'd say it's more likely he has a girlfriend. Maybe he's paying to get her hair done.

You might try asking the head nurse what she thinks he's doing with it. But I sure wouldn't judge him for it or let on that I knew. So few opportunities for joy in a 93-year-old's life. .
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thai stick . these aint yesteryears elders ..
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No idea. Ask the staff what he might need it for. If there is no need, don't give him money, he will lose it.
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Bingo, drinks, extra food, or the crafts that they sell in the lobby, I guess. Have you asked him?
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