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At least 16hrs a day, does not want to shave, take shower. This is killing my mom because she cannot take care of him. and I work and cannot be there all the time. Any help/advise would be greatly appreciated.

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I agree. Your mom needs in-home help or he needs to be in a nursing home. My dad sleeps constantly, but does shower and shave. He could not live in his house if it were not for a wonderful team of three women who each work 8 hour shifts 7 days a week. He is blessed in that his long term care insurance is paying for most of this.

If your dad can't afford a nursing home, it may be time to look into him qualifying for medicaid.
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Has your mom considered in-home help? Your mom can't be expected to care for your dad all by herself. It's an impossible job for one person to do.
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