My dad (90) has dementia. How can I get him in a long term nursing home?

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He is very aggressive and yells at me and tries to hit me all the time. He refuses to bathe or let anyone help him. He poops and pees all over his room everyday. The smell is unreal!!! I have to take everything out of his room daily and clean top to bottom but does me no good because he continues to do it. He chews his food and spits it out and will only drink Coke. I'm at my wits end and just can't do it anymore. My sister has nothing to do with him at all so I'm all he has. How can I get him in a long term nursing home? He has no assets, just his clothes.
He draws a SS check but that's it.

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cinny, when they take him to the ER, do not go with him and refuse to pick him up and bring him back to your house. They will get mad and threaten you. Just hold your ground and say no. Maybe you should talk this over with an attorney who handles elder law.
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Kimber 166,
I did but they told me he has to be admitted in hospital for 3 days before they would do anything....they wouldn't admit him so I had to bring him back home with me.
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When your dad yells and tries to hit you - call 911. They will take him in - you let the hospital social worker know that he is aggressive, incontinent, and that you cannot take care of him any longer. They will arrange for nursing home.
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Has your Dad been seen by a doctor (gerontologist) to address Dad's aggression Perhaps some meds would help. How long has this behavior been going on? Is he in your home?
You might begin by calling your county social services department to see what type of help they can offer. As I understand it, being approved by Medicaid is not an overnight event. So you have to begin the process somewhere. Can you use some of his social security check to hire an aide for a few hours to assist with things? Maybe that will give you some respite until you get the medicaid application started.
I know others will have more specific (and better) suggestions. good luck.
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