My Dad has frontal lobe dementia and wants to still drive. What am I to do to stop him?

Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
46

Answers

Show:
1 2 3 4 5
Documenting observations, concerns, and related risks can help families facilitate difficult decisions. Roobrik (roobrik) offers a free online assessment tool that provides context for common warning signs, suggestions for what to do next based on personalized risk reports, and strategies to open up the dialogue and make the transition as positive as possible for everyone involved, including the aging drivers themselves.

Try it here: alpha.roobrik/driving
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Reasoning (with dr's assistance) didn't help. So I disabled the car (disconnected the battery). She doesn't know enough about cars to make it work. Although she says she drives to the shops once a week when we're not there, I don't think this can be true, as car remains untouched. But this is our insurance. While she still thinks she's driving, she retains a higher level of dignity and sense of independence.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I sold my husbands car three years ago when he showed signs of dementia. I had my mechanic come over and tell him the computer In the car was broken and it would cost too much to fix. Now every day he asks when am I going to get him another car. He screams and yells calls me all sort of nasty names. WhenI tell him it is no longer safe for him to drive that he forgets and is confused he only states he never had an accident and what I am saying makes no sense. Now when he asks I ignore him because I cannot. Keep repeating the same thing every day because it is useless. The doc told him no more driving but he says the doc does not know what he is talking aboutTo keep his mind on other things he goes to adult day care three times a week and the other two days I have an aid. I work full time and have no time for myself because he wants to go every where with me . I prefer that to worrying about him driving.
I need to buy another car but afraid because it will start him asking all over again about his car. Does anyone have a suggestion on how I can buy a new car without starting world war 3 in my house.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Oh, I forgot to mention that since my mother declined to be tested, that meant that her driver's license was automatically rescinded. Case closed.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

As mentioned here, the procedure depends upon the state he lives in. My mom (now 94) was still driving at 93 in Florida. She mostly let others do the driving, but one day she got behind the wheel when we were going to the doctor's, and I had first-hand experience with nearly being killed by someone who had no clue that she was drifting all over the place. And surely the honking wasn't intended for her! I related all this to her doctor, who tried to have a heart-to-heart about the wisdom of giving up driving. Mom stared benignly and nodded, but I knew that the doc's advice was bouncing off a brick wall.

Florida DMV won't just rescind a license, but to their credit if anyone has legitimate concerns about a mentally or physically disabled driver, they WILL request that the individual come in for a written and road test.

When my brother informed Mom that the DMV wanted her to be tested---and of course we didn't let on that we were the instigators---she who had been insisting that she was perfectly capable, all of a sudden had second thoughts. Somewhere in her jumbled mind she was aware that she wasn't the driver she thought she still was (and until a few years ago, she was an excellent driver).

Well, that was that. It was almost too easy. I think deep down she was relieved. She could now justifiably be chauffeured like royalty without feeling guilty, since it was the DMV, not her or her offspring or her personal physician, who decided she couldn't drive any more. In other words lay the onus on the state agency instead of the individual.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I typed up a list of all the reasons my Dad should not drive (since no matter how many times I told him he couldn't remember). I finally hid the keys and found a program locally (called, "Seniors Helping Seniors") that will take him to his various appointments. I also tried to prepare him for close to two years by asking him if he was ready to stop driving when the time came. He would always say he was, but when that time came, no one could convince him of it. I finally had to hide the keys. I think he now realizes that he will not drive again.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Would showing a picture of what a terrible auto accident scare the driver into thinking how dangerous it is for Dad to drive?? Really think about the consequences of what will happen, including injury and lawsuit against the driver and maybe his family.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

We have Call A Ride here in the St.Louis area. A small Fee for the service and reliable. They come to your door and pick you up and drop you off a time you request.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

When my husband had FTD he wanted to drive too. I sometimes would disable the car by loosening the battery cables. It finally came time to renew his Driver license and he insisted he could do it. I game him the tests to study and after a few week of trying to learn he said, I 've decided not to renew. I told him I would take him down and renew a non driver license, for I identification instead. He was happy with that. From then on I drove and he went with me everywhere.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

When my husband had FTD he wanted to drive too. I sometimes would disable the car by loosening the battery cables. It finally came time to renew his Driver license and he insisted he could do it. I game him the tests to study and after a few week of trying to learn he said, I 've decided not to renew. I told him I would take him down and renew a non driver license, for I identification instead. He was happy with that. From them on I drove and he went with me everywhere.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

1 2 3 4 5
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions