Parents moved to be closer to me for my help, however they chose a town an hour from where I had a support system and good medical care. Now the three of us are isolated in a small town with no support system and good medical care is distances away. Dad is 89, mom is 77. Dad recently began to have delusions, memory loss and becomes more aggressive (can be physical). Mom refuses to bring in help (cost is a factor as is dads rejection of help). He often doesn’t know who she is and my being there makes things worse, as he thinks we are plotting against him.
My only brother is not in the area, but is trying to speak to them about this over the phone, but mom only tells us about things when she is scared. We have called the police once and she says she will again if she feels in danger, but recently locked herself in the car trying to leave and he stood behind the car to prevent it and would not call the police. Even so, the police have said unless she presses charges, they can’t do anything if he seems to be lucid (which he fakes well with strangers). The doctors, when he will go, have not been helpful because he hides the behavior. They think he had a stroke, but it’s been 4 weeks and they still don’t have the results of brain scan. They put him on anti depressants and anxiety, but to no help. They fired home health, because it agitated him. Mom is isolated and I am concerned for her safety, but she refuses to leave (he literally can’t care for himself alone), refuses to put him in a care facility and refuses for someone to come in to help. What are our options? How do we handle this? I am isolated in this small town, 5 miles from my isolated parents, unable to physically help in any way. I am at my wits end and don’t want the result to be finding my mom hurt or dead.