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My brother is at the point of kicking him out. He says he talks to himself , won't take showers and they live in an apartment complex where my dad likes to dig in the trash. Me and my dad have been close for 10 yrs now and I'm tired of watching him fall apart. He refuses to get any help and he won't go to the doctors at all. I don't know what to do.

Rrcalderon, there is nothing wrong with your Dad talking to those who have passed away.... it is just part of what sounds like dementia. It keeps Dad occupied.

As for not taking showers, as one starts to get older, taking a shower is like going to the gym.... it can be very exhausting. Plus there is a fear of falling. And maybe Dad now is becoming claustrophobic to smaller spaces. Have Dad try taking a bath.... but then there is a problem of getting up from sitting in the tub :P Too bad you can't set up the grass sprinkler and let him run through it, he may enjoy that. I wish I could for myself as I now hate taking showers/baths, too tiring.

What are you doing to help your brother? Caring for someone who has memory issues, and who refuses care can be quite exhausting for your brother. About 40% of family caregivers die leaving behind the love one they were caring. Those aren't good odds.

As for digging in the trash, as long as your Dad isn't getting hurt or becoming ill from doing that, let him dig for gold.

Some people just refuse to see a doctor, not much you can do. Since your Dad has dementia, he won't listen to reason. If he is doing ok otherwise, let it be. I know sounds like we are spoiling a grown up child, but one needs to pick their battles when it comes to dementia.
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Reply to freqflyer
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everything you are saying is self harm, not showering, dumpster/trash diving. Mental health going.

it’s going to be hard to get him to the doctors, 911 wouldn’t take him if he is alert times 3 to er if he doesn’t want to go, unless he is being violent.

does he have a social worker, guardian, outside caregivers, if not it’s time to get him in the system.

has his doctor been notified of his mental/physical changes? I would do that ASAP.

sounds like he is about to be homeless and (this is going to sound horrible but it’s reality) you’re not responsible to house him and deal with what your brother is going through, unless you really want too, it’s always ok to throw in the towel if you can’t be a good caregiver and get managed outside caregivers to take over.

your poor brother sounds like he is hitting burn out stage. Good luck honey
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Reply to Ohlas1
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I’m so sorry that you are struggling with this. Others on this site have dealt with this situation and can offer help.

Hang around for answers. Best wishes to you and your family.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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