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The guy is in a nursing home with parkinson's, but he must have "hired" other people to continue harassing my father. We have moved him, yet he continues to believe this person has people follow us and poison his food when ever we buy something for him at a restaurant? Been going on for 12 years, he is now 79 years old. He has called and written the FBI, the local police, as PI, etc. He has installed cameras, motion detectors, etc., which only take photos of him. Then he claims they use a clockijng device to "beat" the camera, or they access it and erase themselves. DO I just keeo going along with him, and continue to help him try and find these people, or what? When ever I try and talk with him about this, he yells and cussess me out and claims I am helping them? He trust no one, unless you believe him or do what he wants. He now wants to contact the Southern Poverty Law Center to have them investigate this guys as a "hate-group".

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This reminds me much of my brother. My brother was a serious alcoholic who had high blood pressure. He had a stroke and was put on some strong medication for his blood pressure. But he couldn't drink and take the medicine, from what he told me. So he didn't take his medicine. He started having ideas that the FBI was after him. They sent rats into his hotel room that had their tails held up by balloons and had cameras on them. I call them his "spy rats." He talked of how they were watching him, following him, and using all manners of electronic surveillance. He could not be convinced that it was all his imagination. He was 57 at the time all this was happening.

Some people believe it was the alcohol, that maybe he was having a dry spell from it when he had this paranoia. I know he wasn't having a dry spell. What I suspect was that he was having small strokes that were creating the hallucinations and delusions. Small strokes can really play tricks on the mind. I have heard of several people who became delusional, usually paranoid, and were diagnosed with the strokes.

If you think that this may have something to do with your father, talk to his doctor about the paranoia. The delusion may be something else entirely, but it is useful to eliminate stroke as a possibility.
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Andy, there is a book that may help you. The book is called "I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help".

Briefly, it used to be believed that some people with mental illnesses were in denial about their illnesses. Advice would be to tell them and hope to break through their "denial". In the past 10 years there has been some movement on this concept toward recognizing what was seen as denial as instead being another symptom of their illness it's referred to as "lack of insight". The book will give you a clear understanding of the difficulty you are facing.

At the very least it helps you to not do the things that you probably spend a lot of time doing.
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Andy~My mother has a personality disorder which is a mental illness. She like your father believes that everyone else is wrong and she is right. She believes the government is out to do away with the elderly and that dr.'s are against her because she won't accept their diagnosis. The situation is complicated in that mom has moderate dementia. The dementia has made it easier to get her to take medication...she is currently taking an antidepressant that has made a world of difference, however, a year ago her cognitive abilities would have refused to take it. It sounds like your father's problems are all mental illness related. Have you tried calling the Area Agency on Aging in your city or county and asking for a social worker to help? Tell them everything that is going on including the VA info, POA info hold back nothing. The will be able to direct you and offer help. Keep us posted on what is going on so we can support you.
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Yikes! No fun, for sure.

What method has given you the best results? It sounds like you have tried going along with the delusion, and you are now telling him it is not true. Which got the better result? Have you tried ignoring it? "Dad, I'm sorry about your issues, but they have nothing to do with me. I can't discuss them with you." "If you are worried about food here being contaminated, just order coffee and you can have a peanut butter sandwich when we get home. I'm ordering the corned beef hash because theirs is the best in the city."

I guess the other question is what would you consider good results? Obviously it would be a success if he didn't have the delusion at all. But he has a mental illness, his VA doctor has prescribed something for him that he won't take, and it seems to me very unlikely that this delusion is going to vanish on its own. So, short of the delusion going away, what would be a good result? Him not talking to you about it? Him not going into yell-and-curse mode? Him not writing to organizations?

All I can suggest is figuring out what you'd most like to achieve (short of a cure), and experiment to see which method works best toward that end.

(And I'll bet your Dad's wouldn't be the first delusional letter the Southern Poverty Law Center has received.)
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Dad is 79, he will be 80 in July. He has had mental health issue, (he had electric shock treatments when he was in his 40s, but he never completed the treatments). He has been give some meds by the VA, but he will not take them, he throws them away. He will not tell me what he was given, but he does not the VA to know that he is throwing them away. I have tried to talk with the VA, but they will not talk with me. He does not have another doctor, only the VA. I have POA, but not medical POA. He says he is not "crazy", everyone else is because we do not believe him. He had a stroke 12 years ago after having some heart surgery and has gotten worse sense then. He says he was abuses by a neighbor when he was a teen, but he will not go into detail. Any talking about the issue, unless you agree with him. is met with degrading comments about one's intelligence, etc. My Dad has always been a "know-it-all" and any disagreements with him, or his position is met with yelling and cursing. This has always been his method of dealing with any one who disagrees with him. My main questions is, do I just go along with it, ignore him, or do I continue to tell him it is not true, which is the last advise I got from a counselor. I am just trying to cope with the issue.
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I am sorry for all you are going through. We need more information to help you, such as (1. How old is your father
(2. Does he have dementia
(3. Has he been like this all his life or just in the past 12 yrs or just in the last
few months
(4. Do you have medical POA or DPOA
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Tricky situation. You need some sort of evaluation and medication. This sort of thing can be difficult to get them on meds for and even more difficult to get them to stay on meds. Does your father have medical issues? Some sort of mental disorder can be with other issues in the elderly. Start with a full physical check up.
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