Hi all, my Dad thinks that the world is ending (the biblical rapture) near the end of September, he even has it down to the minute. My sister in law, brother, and myself believe he is suffering from "religious obsessions / religious delusions", because all he does is watch conspiracy youtube videos about how the Bible is telling us when the rapture / resurrection will be, he fills notebooks with his notes, thoughts, and theories. His bible is full of his off the wall theories, written in the margins, etc. When we take him to family gatherings, this is all he talks about, and it makes people really uncomfortable. This is all he wants to talk about to my mother (they live together) and myself (I visit a few times a month). It causes my mom a lot of unneeded stress, and it causes fighting between my father and myself. My father has lost all of his friends BECAUSE this is all he talks about, and people tell him he sounds crazy, and he just smuggle says that he's right, and we'll all see (that the world is ending at the end of September).
My father has recently taken to spending all of their life savings, since he thinks the world is ending in a few weeks. This is a HUGE problem since my mom also helped to save up that money for retirement, and will need it, and it wasn't enough to support them to begin with!! I've been urging my mother to move all of the money to a bank account with only her name on it; she says I'll think about it, and then does nothing. My mother is in denial; he just ignores all the crazy stuff he says and keeps moving along with her life. She says there's nothing we can do.
I've spoken to my brother and he also says there's nothing we can do. I've talked to my father A LOT OF TIMES about going to see a mental health care professional "just to see if everything is right", etc., but he will not go no matter what I say.
I have booked a hotel room in the city they live in, so that I will be there the morning he thinks the world is ending, but I'm not sure what to do. My mother plans on going to work as usual, because she doesn't want to feed into his fantasies. I've been urging her to stay at the hotel with me, because I don't know how he will act. He's a complete fanatic! I'm not even sure I should be around him the morning he thinks the rapture is coming, because I'm not sure if it will be safe.
He also believes that police / some group of people are going to be searching everyones houses, and has mentioned that he will be on guard with anyone who knocks on his door after the rapture. He thinks that a lot of pillaging will essentially ensue after the "rapture", so he has mentioned taking his guns out and being "ready".
The police in their city are absolutely incompetent / power crazy. I'm afraid if I were to call them for help, they would end up aggressing my dad / causing something horrible to happen. I don't know who to call for help. If he were to get put into a mental institution, we couldn't afford it.
What should I do?!?
I'm sorry to hear what is happening. Please listen to the others call Adult Protective Services, alert the Police. I don't believe others when they say there is nothing that can be done. I know sometimes it feels futile, but at the minimum call Adult Protective Services. Your dad needs to be seen by a doctor. Why is he saying these things? Side effects of medication? Mental decline from other undiagnosed medical condition. Something is going on and something can and should be done. I hope you can find the help you need.
For the Baker act you need 2 persons willing to testify he has said and/or done something to exhibit that he is a danger to self and others. (I have a niece with schizophrenia and have had to do so multiple times.)
I agree with others...protect mom. Remove as many weapons as discretely as possible.
Is he involved in any religious groups, and are there others with whom he's in touch who believe in the same scenario?
Are you a signatory on your parents' accounts? If so, move the funds to a separate account, but speak with your banker to alert them to what's happening. They may have to put some kind of block on the drained down accounts before they're completely drained and/or overdrawn.
Has your father, and/or your mother or both executed any POAs? If so, and the proxy is other than them, that individual could also transfer the funds.
Your father seems to have some kind of paranoid delusion, and really does need psychiatric help, but he's not going to accept it willingly. I think other's suggestions of Baker Acting him might be necessary. And I agree that all weapons need to be removed, or if you know how, remove the firing pin, and hide all the ammo.
It would also be good to alert the local police now and ask what they can do (at least protect your mother) at the end of September.
You'll also have to plan for the first day of October when life still goes on (although with Kim Jong-Un rapidly escalating toward war, one never knows what will happen in October). That's another thought - has he been watching tv and the escalation in N. Korea?
It took a couple years, but I finally got my Mom to move the liquid assets (cash and stock investments) into her exclusive name. She was so afraid that Dad would see this and she couldn't face his anger. What finally corked it was the day sears delivered a HUGE riding lawn mover. They had no lawn..barely a little garden in front of the house! I did manage to get sears to take it back...and Mom finally went and withdrew nearly everything. She couldn't close the accounts without his signature..but very little was left. When the monthly statements arrived...she only showed him the statements in her name only....he never noticed. He sat and pretended to read it all ... but I think he did it just for show...
Ah well....keep working on getting Mom to see that doing this protects both of them. She must act ... all her life her husband acted to protect both of them, now it is up to her.
Also please have your dad evaluated even if it takes a 5150 (involuntary hold for 72 hrs). With guns in the home and your dad talking & not making sense should convince the police to do this.
Dad needs an immediate mental health evaluation
& the family needs to assure their safety.
Good luck!
Also as mentioned here, if there's any guns in the house, they need to be locked up very well and someone needs to take control of all the money and assets, I strongly agree with these two particular thoughts
Many people have these beliefs but don't act in the extreme way as your Dad.
The beliefs are common and doughtful if that can be changed. The concern lies in the way he is acting out and that is unusual and certainly has been financially dangerous to your Mom and Dad and could become physically dangerous as well, not to just your family, but others if he goes on a rampage with his guns.
This is matter for the medical professionals and the police. Ideally Dad will agree to see a Dr , be evaluated and if necessary placed in a psychiatric facility for total evaluation, diagnosis and treatment. I don't think he will agree because he probably feels he is right and the rest of the world is wrong.
It is essential for your nother to protect herself unless she wants to end up either dead or living on the streets. Dealing with the bank accounts is a priority and after that ensuring her own safety as violent talk is often a precursor to violent action. She should immediately see her own Dr and follow any advice from that source.
The guns have to be dealt with. He is not going to hand them over voluntarily so the police may have to be involved. Are all the guns licensed? It is probably highly likely that are not given his feelings of paranoia. Here the police can be called in to remove them and possibly arrest him which can lead to a psychiatric evaluation depending on how he behaves. He will probably become very angry and refuse the police access to the home and the guns and possibly become violent with them which again will be grounds for arrest.
There is little you can do except support your Mom and make plans for her temporally support.
Is your Mom prepared to support your Dad's evaluation or will she allow him to continue to control her life?
She could leave immediately and go to a women's shelter or go home with you.
If you are able and know how you can try to disable the guns or purchase gun locks so he can't use them. This of course will provoke great anger from him. He is so paranoid he probably keeps his guns close by and inspects them regularly.
Bottom line is that Dad will continue his false beliefs and prepare for the event he really believes will happen. Who knows he may be right. There are a large number of people in the US and probably world wide preparing for the apocalypse and many others making a lot of money selling suplies to these peppers. I think there is a fine line between sensible precautions and paranoia. I personally keep a backpack inside my back door with supplies for at least 24 - 48 hours. We also keep sleeping bags in the back of our cars during the Winter.
I don't know how many guns your father has in the house. You can't just go in and remove the guns. He will come unglued. Maybe hurt you or your mother. It is impossible to get all of his ammo, even if you got the extra ammo, there is 5 to 30 rounds in each gun. When he leaves the house, he probably carries a gun. He also probably doesn't have a CCW (Concealed Carry Weapon) permit. You could call the police and try to get him into custody while he isn't near his stash.
You must call the police. Try to get him Baker Acted or as we say in Calif. 5150. He could kill some innocent person who comes to the door, let alone you or your mother. This could well end badly, he may kill someone and get killed himself. If this happens, please don't blame anyone, not the police, social services, yourself or anyone. It is the fault of his illness.
I just had an off the wall idea. Can you give him enough sleeping pills to put him out long enough to get him disarmed? That is far fetched I guess.
Anyone in that state of mind should *NOT* be approached by ANYONE (police or other intervention) until that first task is accomplished. You may need police help to at least transport/lock up the weapons. Anyone in that state of mind could possibly decide they are out to prevent his ascension or when it is the end date, he will take you all and/or them with him! It has happened before...
Obviously many other objects can be used as a weapon - just removing the guns will not prevent harm coming to others, but it is one very deadly method removed. If he discovers they are missing, he might become more unglued - get mom out and THEN get the po-lice there. Incompetent or not, if the man is raving and threatening, the police should be able to subdue him and get him committed as others have suggested. At that point, even without guns (or perhaps he might have one that no one was aware of) he is a threat to society, so it IS their duty to protect...
Meantime keep working on mom. Show her, if you can, how much he is depleting the accounts and ask her how she/they will be able to care for themselves if it is all gone. TAKE her to the bank and try to convince her there to move the bulk of the funds to a new account in her name only. The funds will still go towards his care as well as hers - food, utilities, etc - it will just be in a safe place where he will not blow through it all!
Without committing him, the gun removal and convincing mom to move assets is about all you can try to do. Family saying there is nothing they can do is irresponsible! If he were harmless, sure. But someone in that state of mind, with weapons, is a danger to himself, to his family and to possibly many others as well! Tell them to get their head out of the sand - or just take the suggestions we have given (I highly doubt he will go to ANY doctor given what you have said - he believes all this and NO doctor is going to convince him otherwise). Start with the guns, then the money issue. Once the guns are gone, moving money and getting him committed can be in any order really, but if committed they *might* be able to determine what his problem is if it is medical and might be able to treat it.
I think the best course of action is to take MOM to an atty and get her POA financial and health, and then take her to the bank to get POA on her accounts there. Then you and she open a single account with you as POA. You and she then move almost every dime out of the joint account to the single account. Protect your dad from himself, and mom will benefit as well.
Once that's accomplished, the rest will be easier - like canceling the credit cards! It will be amazing how fast his attention turns to other things when he can't buy materials to support the delusion. Keep mom safe!
1) believes emphatically that the rapture is coming and wants to talk to everyone about it.
2) feels with the end coming he might as well spend his money
3) has guns and intends to defend himself after the rapture.
Is he religious over-all in his life or is he just rapture obsessed? He is allowed to believe anything he wants and at this moment is not appearing as a threat, so having him picked-up is not real likely. If he is so religious, does he attend church? Is there a respected religious acquaintance who can go through scripture and point out the fallacy of the YouTube videos? What does he see happening to himself in the rapture? Will he be taken or is he to be left behind? If he believes he will be taken, he will not be here to protect the house after the rapture. At that point worldly goods will hold no value to him anyway.
Mom does need to be convinced that she needs to protect their financial future. That is a heck of a hurdle for women who have always depended on their husbands to manage the finances. Surprise (a few entries above) has done a nice job of outlining what needs to be done. Bottom line she must move the majority of their funds to get him through this phase and see if he comes back to reason when the rapture does not happen.
Regarding the guns, if he is religious he is unlikely to harm you as he believes the Lord is going to raise you up (if you have lived accordingly). If you have not lived appropriately, to be a good servant, he must allow the Lord to handle things. After all this is the end of times so he would not want to screw things up for himself.
Hopefully you can get an authoritative religious entity to come , discuss the rapture and bring him around. If not, then I would suggest letting the police know that he is anticipating a need to protect himself at the time of rapture, expects police to be going door to door and he may need containment at that time. I am assuming as the end nears, if he believes he will not be taken, he will be talking of what he expects and how he intends to protect himself. At that point he becomes a more immediate threat. Please let us know how things are progressing
Also, it would be wise if you and your mom were out of the area until you knew how he has to respond to the lack of rapture and what police action may have become necessary.
Those guns are another problem - where do you live? & what are the laws there ? - go to police station & ask for advice from a senior/well seasoned officer on what your legal rights are - your mom as part home owner could get rid of them - here we have a way to surrender guns that are then destroyed with 1 phone call but might be different where you live - knowledge is power so talk to cops even if in another town