If my dad gets released from a nursing home because he is not making progress, is assisted living the next step?


Dad had a stroke in April, he is 79. He was in a nursing home, came home for 10 days, fell, we thought he broke ribs so he went to E.R. now back in nursing home but is running out of Medicare. I think the nursing home is going to relase him again because he is not making and progress. So where does he go and how does that work since my mom still lives at home.

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I also suggest that you speak with the social worker at the rehab facility.NH where her is now to ask about other resources in your community.

For me the biggest ? is to find out what your dad can and more importantly cannot do. If it's the case where he cannot be left alone during the day and there is not truly family who can be there for the months and years ahead then you need to look into a long term care facility like a NH or perhaps a board & care home. If your family has the private funds to pay for this or if dad needs to go onto Medicaid. Since your mom still works and would be his "community" spouse that poses alot of other issues that need to be figured out before you apply for Medicaid. 79 is very young and you could be looking at another decade plus of his care so you want to do it right. I'd involve the whole family and be very clear about the costs and time involved. The social workers I've found are very realistic to talk to about what is realistic for families to do at home. Good luck.
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How much and what kind of assistance does your father need? Is there some way to provide that assistance in his home? For example, does he need help taking a shower? Does he need to be fed? Can he get in and out of bed or does he need help? Can he remember to take his pills? What is your mother's health like? Can she provide some of the assistance he needs?

(I recognize that my husband's dementia may progress to the point he needs to be in some kind of care center, but don't think it will ever be assisted living. As long as all he needs is "assistance" I can arrange for him to have that right here.)

As in so many things, money makes a difference in our options. What is your parents' financial situation? Do they have substantial assets? For many people, the prospect of providing professional care for ten or fifteen or twenty years is financially daunting! That is why so many people we would not have thought of as impoverished need to be on Medicaid.

So you need to figure out where Dad is going next, and also how to pay for it. I'll bet that Mother could use some help with those tasks, right?
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You should be having a meeting with the nursing home discharge planners to see what the plan of action is. If he can not go home safely he will need supportive care or stay in the nursing home..is there dementia/Alzheimer's? Since assisted living is very expensive it may be better to get a live in care giver. Also if he stays in nursing home you will have to talk to the estate attorney to see separation of funds to allow your mom to stay at home and have money.
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