I am my dad's health care proxy--he's 92, with Parkinson's, depression, incontinence, dementia, and Alzheimer's, and currently in a nursing home; my 88 year old stepmom lives nearby, while I am in Michigan, about 1000 miles away. A few years back--while he was still living at the house, although perhaps when the dementia had begun to manifest--my brother had asked him about a DNR. At the time, he indicated he didn't want that. A couple of days ago, there was an incident at the nursing home and they wound up doing chest compressions (since there was no DNR). He's recovered, but I was asked about whether I wanted to instate a DNR. I know the damage that can come from CPR, and have heard plenty of stories about unnecessarily prolonging life (my partner's a nurse). My stepmom, I believe, has a DNR. I understand my dad's wishes, but am also aware of the decline in his quality of life that resulted from the move to the nursing home, and I can't imagine he understands the reality of being hooked up to tubes, etc. My brother says he would support a DNR (but of course he's the one who spoke to Dad initially). Anyone else stuck in this dilemma?