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I'm my dad's DPOA, Health Care Proxy, he has been flushing things like razor blades, and trash and the toilet is not flushing correctly. I'm hoping it isn't the septic ? The first time I asked about the razor he said I forgot, but when I saiid something about paper he flipped out. "I have been doing it for years." I simple asked if he had forgotten again. Then explained how a septic is not meant for those thing and if he continues it could cause problems and cost a lot of money. Well he got so upset and stewed over me telling hi that he said he wants me to move out by the first of the year. Well I know I can't just leave him for legal reasons, so I have put in a call to the local Elderly Services who I have been in contact with before. I never want to go this route but he can't be reasoned with. Am I doing it right ?

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I prepare all his meals and care for him 24/7, no worry
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Dealing with the toilet issue is a good start, but when someone starts doing things like that, against reason, it's usually an indication of things to come. For example, they may also start to eat food that is too old and spoiled or consume something that is a non food product, like lotion. I'd be careful to watch for that. They don't understand that what they are doing is dangerous and they have no memory of doing it.

My loved one started out doing odd things like throwing banana peels in the front yard. You say your dad has a heart condition, but I was look out for dementia too, if he is doing things that are problematic, costly and his memory is poor.
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It just seems to be that one toilet, everything else is working fine. I've plunged it a few times. I fully understand and have friends in the septic service, so no problem there. The elder service is based here on cape cod next town over in Dennis. They were a lot of help and have gave me some service numbers to contact to help me and my dad.
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In your spare time, do a little computer research on the workings of a septic tank system. I don't know whether you have an aerobic system (sprays the clean water out through a sprinkler system) or an older-fashioned system that uses leach lines. Whichever you have, there are multiple tanks buried in the yard that treat the waste water. Solids fall to the bottom where they remain until they are either dissolved or pumped out. There are many things that go down the sinks and toilets that are not dissolvable. Hair, nail clippings, kitchen waste to name a few. If you have an aerobic system, you will likely be adding chlorine tablets to the tank to help treat the water. It will be the tank after the bacteria. Yes you do not want to pour antibacterial cleansers down the drains. Bacteria eats the waste. Anyway, likely your toilet is clogged, call a Plumber. Then post a sign on the bathroom wall that says don't put anything in the toilet except toilet paper. That includes cigarette butts, baby wipes (even if they say flushable), razor blades. The sink is a separate problem.

Pam, when we have our septic tank pumped, it goes straight into the "honey wagon", the big tank truck that the guy brings to the house. I never see anything that is pumped out, and frankly wouldn't want to. A few months ago, it cost us $375, but that was the first time in many years.
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You call the Septic Service man and you have him clean out the distribution box. Then you show all the stuff to Dad along with the bill. You also get credit for the clog if you have been using bleach or other cleaning products that kill bacteria, or buying toilet paper that is not labelled "septic-safe". Women use ten times more toilet paper than men, and if it is not rapidly biodegradable, UH-OH.
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If the toilet isn't flushing correctly, it might be the toilet is clogged, or the pipes might be clogged. But it wouldn't be exclusively because he is on a septic system as opposed to the city sewer. Call a plumber, or buy a plumber's snake and see if you can unclog it yourself. The difference between septic and city sewer is that anything that doesn't dissolve, razor blades, washcloths, baby wipes, will just sit in the bottom of the tank until it fills up and there's no room for water. Then it needs to be pumped out. Since I don't know what you mean by "paper", toilet paper is ok, junk mail is not.

We replaced our toilets with supercharged flushers, elongated seats, comfort height. Made a world of difference. The watersaver toilets don't always use enough water to make stuff go on down the pipes and then they get stuck to the sides and eventually build up and clogs happen. Definitely something for anyone to consider, septic or sewer, because no one likes to deal with clogged toilets. Also make sure the pipes in the yard aren't clogged with tree roots or something. Use a bacteria toilet additive.

You might try something to cover the bowl except when it is being used as a toilet. What comes to mind is a "hat" like they use in the hospital. Then it could be removed for toileting (or even left in place if you are monitoring output). Be SURE there is a wastebasket within easy sight and reach of your father while he is shaving. He may be flushing the razor blades so that no one gets hurt disposing of them. I don't have to tell you to use a liner in the wastebasket, ha ha. Sometimes the obvious answers are the ones we miss.

As a last resort, disconnect the chain from the handle inside the toilet tank so that it can't be flushed. Then you can remove offensive items from the bowl and then reach into the tank and lift the chain or stopper and allow the toilet to flush.

People with dementia really can't be reasoned with. And on top of that, they don't like the idea that they are being babied or that they are doing something wrong. Don't take what your father says personally until he packs your suitcase and says aren't you gone yet?

What would Elderly Services do?
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Do they make a latch/lock for the toilet lid? Seems like I remember one when my kids were toddlers. Would that help?
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