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I suspect that you are fired, and are no longer authorized to act on Dad's behalf.

Dad is gonna do what Dad is gonna do. Which is ... what? If he has no money, how is he going to check into a motel? None of his children will take him in. His wife is not going to take him in. Where is he going to go?

Has the doctor reported him to the DMV, so that his recommendation against driving has some legal basis? Has his license been revoked, pending a driving test?

Have you reported his threats of homicide and suicide to his doctor? To the police?

I know that Adult Protective Services tries to protect vulnerable adults from exploitation, abuse, etc. from other people. I don't know what they do regarding vulnerable adults who are a threat to themselves. I think I would give them a call. Explain that you have been trying to protect your father from his own mental impairments but that now you have no authority. You are afraid of him winding up on the street. He needs help with his medications and he shouldn't be driving. He talks about killing his wife and himself. Ask their advice. Even if this is not a situation they would get involved in, perhaps they can suggest a course of action for you.

My heart goes out to you. Although he doesn't realize it, your dad is lucky to have someone as concerned about him as you are. (And, of course, it is NOT your fault he is in a nursing home.)
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