Tried to get daddy out of Geriatric Psych Rehab today and he was too drugged to come home. He has declined since he has been there - at least that is what I see. The facility is telling me that he is getting aggressive (normal for facility, never at home). I went there today to bring daddy home and allegedly he acted out yesterday and they had to sedate him to calm him down and allow him to sleep.

I did not bring him home with me as I was too scared. They scared me, also his release would have been AMA - I had no clue as to what I would do if he acted out here with me - even though I doubted he would. But he was so drugged, I was even to scared to drive him the 1.5 hour drive home.

I have no idea what to do. His history in facility is bad (agressive, confused, etc). He was perfect at home with care - still caring for the dogs, mowing the lawn, paying bills, etc.

Can a person get so bad after 2 months that they are not even the same person? I may be in total denial here, but my dad is physically okay - his dementia is obviously progressing, but to what extent? And cane I care for him at home, or can I have him cared for at home as I cannot move here until Summer???

And if his dementia is progressing, aren't the sedative/anti-psych drugs (seroquil - I know it's bad) they are giving him just making it more difficult for him to recover?

Please help - should he stay or should he come home??? It would not be long term care there maybe another week, but this is literally the only week I have to be with him 24 hours/day. I want to do this for him.with him as he has given me the world.

Any knowledge or advice is desperately needed.

Thank you!


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My dad came out of surgery with severe dementia - it wasn't AD, but it was, unfortunately, not reversible. I'm just so sad for you because I can relate to your anger and fear for your dad. I'd contact the long-term care ombudsman to see what kind of changes you can make in his care. At least you'd have someone who knows the ropes. Go to and put in the Zip code of the home he's in. You'll get a contact who should be able to help you. Maybe you can get him transferred to another home if he's not able to be at his own. Too many drugs aren't good. Some are often needed, but this sounds like it's not a good approach. work closely with his doctor, as well.
Take care - we know how awful this is for you.
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Thank you Carol, I am struggling with this because he was fine at home and just seems like a zombie there because he acts out they are drugging him. But he would not be acting out at home, so I feel the best place for him is home. I feel like I am being bullied into keeping him there, but I cannot stand to see him drugged the way he is. When home I will have to take away his car and try to make it so he does not drink - these are 2 very difficult things for to do as his daughter, but I know it's the right thing -- however, these will cause him to become frustrated and angry and he will not be happy.
Has anyone had to take away the car and the booze from their parents - and how did this work out?
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