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He is 88 and lately has been very sad because of it. I am not sure of what I should do. He is blind and can not leave the house on his own.

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My elderly fathers sex life is not my concern, at all EVER! That he would even discuss it with me would be a breach of boundaries. It is not your job to provide him with partners or a solution to this age old problem and frankly what man survives to the age of 86 without the knowledge of how to deal with this on their own? No driver, condom or partner necessary! Seriously
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Veronica...It's interesting that you assume that where I am coming from must be "therapist" or "religion"...more specifically "rigid" religion. I am 'coming from' neither - in the case that serves to assist you in labeling me ;-)

In regard to considering shared perspectives...I encourage you apply wider consideration to the reality that people share what they believe and/or understand from varied experiences/education. And, that the more we assume...the less we are able to take in potential learning.
Further, it's okay for me to suggest -what many of the comments here already do...that an elderly man, that is journeying through a major loss, is not in need of 'sexual gratification' just because he demonstrates 'feeling sexy' (and, by the way, that vague description leaves a lot of room for speculation) ; But that intuition and logic tell most of us that what this senior is seeking is 'emotional satisfaction'. This senior father deserves to have his needs assessed, addressed and met. In addition, I am sharing that it is not appropriate for an adult child caregiver to invest their energies and advocacy toward their parents' sexual proclivity, much less to actually seek out a sexual outlet for their parent. That action is one that encroaches on healthy boundaries within the relational dynamic.

I encourage you to re read my comment. It's unfortunate that you received my comment as 'harsh'. I did end with campy sentence, but the core intent of my message is 'direct', not harsh, and was intended to serve the considerations of a dedicated daughter who clearly desires to help her father.

Again, this elderly father would likely benefit from talking with a skilled geriatric therapist.
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What you don't want to do is get him involved with someone who could move in on his life and money; that happens too often. A nice older lady with a sweet voice who would appreciate companionship might work; if his vision is impaired, he's less likely to notice if she looks older, and affection might be all he could handle.
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Justintime could you please fill in your profile so we know more about you.
Your answer to the gentleman who still enjoys sexual feeling to me sounded very harsh.
Are you comming from a therapist point of view or a rigid religeous one.
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One word: Boundaries.

Making the decision to involve yourself in facilitating your father's engagement of his libido is very misguided, not to to mention highly dysfunctional from a Family Systems perspective . Appropriate advocating and healthy caregiving for an elderly parent should not place focus of energy on their sexuality. The kind of stimulation an elderly man or woman truly benefits from/needs is not about 'sexual satisfaction', but rather their emotional health. Your father is likely challenged by depression and/or anxiety and is ill-equipped to process those negative narratives... So, he confuses his negative feelings, then channels his deficit in coping into libido. He is exhibiting maladaptive coping. Your 86 year old father would benefit from a visit with a counselor/therapist experienced in geriatric health. Your dad needs a hobby... Not hand job.
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As the daughter of one of them, I can attest to the fact that there are people at the senior center and adult day care who would love to meet your dad. My mother has had a few "boyfriends" at the center over the years and is to the point where, despite the fact that she has lost most of her life skills, she would love to meet a man for companionship, common memories, senior dancing, maybe a kiss, but may not necessarily act on all their desires. I don't want any details if they ever happened to find themselves alone.
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Maybe you need to redirect that feeling ..,maybe get involved in the day care , I love all the ideas except the hooker idea . We see a lot of STD s with older folks they think they can't get pregnant so they go wild and end up with STDs . A 89 year old crazy with syphilis gone to their brain is not a good thing . seniors have enough health problems lets not add more on .
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How about hiring a nice lady to come to the house and give him a massage, with or without a happy ending?
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Poor old dad he just wants some action. Who can blame him
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P.S. I bet half of us (or more) on this board are facing the same thing your dad is facing. I'm certainly not going to look for a male hooker to satisfy me. Ugh! :(
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Yikes, I'm not so sure about the hooker idea. I'd go with the daycare or church activities. If he can just meet some nice ladies, he can have fun fantasizing about them (if you get my drift). Prostitution is illegal just about everywhere, so I'd hate to see him arrested or get an STD. Or how about looking for some events for low-vision people, where he might meet some others?
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Condoms prevent STDs, and prostitutes insist on their clients using condoms. Get your dad a hooker and he'll be eternally grateful.
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Wow. I would never suggest a prostitute or surrogate. Can you spell STD, HIV, AIDS, hepatitis, chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhea, or the next undiscovered disease?
The vibrator may be the best option, but at least check with the doctor to "make sure your heart is healthy enough" as we've all heard on the Cialis adverts.
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I think what you are looking for is a "sexual surrogate" There are some in NYC.
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Don't be embaressed you re doing the right thing try to help your dad with this problem
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Thank you all. Judging from your answers this is not an unusuale problem. Dad has been with me for ssince july 2009 Mom pass away 2 years ago and this is the first time this problem has come up so I realy thought that part of his life was no more. I had thought of a prostitute but have no clue how to go about it. I am going to call a sex therapist Monday and see if they can be of help. Kind of embrassing.
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He would not be the first man to offend a lady at day care so don't worry about it.
I am with Pam on this one and don't forget the lubricant.
Failing that hire a prostitute.
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I am worried that he might not behave properly and maybe offend someone of the oppisit sex.
But I do think he would prefer a live women to a vibrator.
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Do you mean he is looking for female companionship? How about adult daycare? Can he handle that alone for a few hours a week?
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Buy him a battery operated personal massage kit. Then leave him alone with it. Shut the door and go shopping.
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