My dad does not want to see doctor anymore. I know he is not feeling good. What should I do?

Try to encourage dad to see a doctor and reassure him he has the right to weigh the advice and make choices as to next steps or care. Reassure him you will back his decision but don't want him to suffer or feel bad if there are small things that can be done to give him best quality of life.

Abide by his wishes and decisions. Good luck and wishing you better days ahead with dad.

I see in your profile that your dad has cancer. I am so sorry. What stage is the cancer in? What treatments has Dad had for it? How old is he?

Has your dad made a conscious decision not to have any further cancer treatments? Or has he just sort of drifted into not caring about himself? Competent adults should be able to make their own decisions about their care -- we should just be sure they understand their options.

Might your Dad be ready for hospice care? They would see to it that he has what it takes to feel good, while not pushing further cancer treatments.

Tell the MD that Dad has refused to go, and ask him if it is time for Hospice.

Dolly, I take potassium pills and I'd rather not. For some reason I find them hard to swallow. But ... tell your Dad this. The potassium pills are not to make his life last longer. But they will help ensure that everything works as it should while he is alive. They are to help keep him from feeling bad, such as having muscle pain, irregular heart beat, and fatigue.

Sometimes people do not want any "heroic" measure to extend their lives. But taking something like potassium can help someone with low potassium feel better. It is not "heroic" or "extraordinary" -- it is just supplementing a natural substance the body needs to function well.

I think this is one of the small things sunflo2 mentions that can help give him best quality of life.

It should be his decision, but I hope you can explain it to him so he is making a well-informed decision.

Dolly, in January of this year I had a colonoscopy exam, and the doctor found a very large polyp and removed it. He made a mark where it had been so that section of the colon could later be removed if necessary. (I have a tattoo in my colon! :-) ) Later after the lab had examined the polyp the doctor called me to tell me that it was not cancer.

Did your dad's doctor remove the tumor or polyp during the examination? Did someone do tests and determine the growth in your dad's intestine was cancerous? Was a course of treatment recommended?

I think that you might be better able to discuss Dad's health with him if you had a clear picture of what the colonoscopy revealed, what was done, and what Dad's current status is. Could you talk to the clinic where the test was done?

He won't listen to me. It is hard for me to see him like this. My mom is crying every day..

Dolly, is your mother also living with you? x

yep

Oh my goodness. And he won't listen to her either? It sounds as if you'd better call in a heavy mob from somewhere. You don't need his permission to ask his doctor to call, as long as you warn the doctor in advance that your father may refuse to speak to him. Or, as suggested, get hold of hospice people for advice. You can't do this on your own, and between your dad and your mother you've got too much as it is. Get help. xxx

Without an accurate diagnosis it is impossible to know what to do. Why is he afraid or unwilling to seek medical advice? If he is depressed he needs meds to help him out until he can figure it out. If he is overly anxious he needs meds until he can figure it out. Why do your parents at such a young age live with you? Or have you always lived in a multi generational home? Maybe depressed Mom would benefit from some antidepressents. Or family counseling all around. I know what it is like to deal with someone who is unreasonable. But just firmly and calmly telling them what has to happen can make a difference. Since they are unhappy to begin with a little more unhappy doesn't make a big difference. Do you have any brothers? Sometimes a man will listen to a man before he will listen to a woman.