My mother has been fussing non-stop for a week about my dad. Last week, there were several tornadoes in our area, very weak, but still tornadoes. My mother, who is terrified of them, took a tranquilizer and went sound asleep because she was so nervous. When the sirens went off, my 80-year-old dad went to wake her and she was so groggy that she kept telling him to leave her alone and to go away - very angrily. He tried several times to wake her, but she wouldn't wake up. She told him to go away, over and over. Did he do the wrong thing by going downstairs, after trying to get her up? Should he have stayed there? If there had been a tornado right there, what should he have done? (My mom is 81 and very depressed. She also has nerve problems that cause her to not be able to walk very well, so she stays in the bed most of the time.) No tornado hit their area, but we had several in the county - F-0's. Lots of tree damage, and some roof, etc. damage. Mom woke up when her phone's weather alarm went off. She then went downstairs with her two dogs - had trouble but made it. Daddy was already there, of course.
She now despises my dad - says he left her to die. I have heard both sides, of course. She has told me the same thing for a week. And, she is mad at me because I did not put Dad down like she says she would have, if it had been her mother. (I hear this a lot.) She has told a few people what happened and she said they couldn't believe what he had done. My mom is very dramatic, moreso now that she is older. I have always been closer to her, but, since she's been sick, she has pushed me away, as she has tried to pull me closer, if that makes sense. I am an only child, with 3 young children, have a full-time job, and a husband who is fairly selfish - not interested in my problems. Things have gotten so bad for me, that I have been seeing a counselor since the summer. My health is being affected too. I have depression and an ulcer. My mother fusses non-stop, cries all the time, tells me that I've changed, etc. And, now the tornado incident. My dad lives with this every day, and I think he is depressed, too. He has bad knees but does get around better than Mom. She also thinks that my dad has dementia, and we wonder is she has it. I am about crazy. But my main questin is about the tornado and my dad. Did he do something terribly wrong, or did he do what he had to do? I am just at my wit's end. Everytime I call her, she is short with me and starts crying, telling me about other people who treat her better. I just don't know what to do.