We don't know what to do with my Dad (91) diagnosed with lung cancer?


He has congestive heart failure so cant take chemo, they suggest radiation but we just don't know what to do??

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Doctors have a hard time telling families that it is time to give up. The question to ask the doctor is, "What would you recommend if this were your father?" His or her answer will be very useful. Most doctors choose for themselves to forgo life-extending care, so that their quality of life is better.

You want Dad to live forever, but that would not be good if he will be in pain. Maybe the radiation will shrink something and help him to feel better for a while. That's worth doing. But fighting for a few more weeks or months of pain and disability is not in anyone's best interest. If you believe in God, let him go to his rest in God's hands. If you don't, treat him as you would an old, beloved but sick pet. He can't be euthanized, but at least you can make sure he is as comfortable as possible, and not subjected to painful procedures.

No matter what you do, you will feel guilty. He is going to be ill and is going to die fairly soon. You can't stop that. So you feel guilty. But you haven't done anything to feel guilty for. Remind yourself of that often.

For me, the time came when I was able to remember my father's suffering and be glad he was "safe in heaven." Now I remember him and his shenanigans with pleasure that I had such a character as a father. Best wishes to all of you.
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How advanced is the cancer, as in what stage? What does dad want to do?

Are his doctors suggesting that the radiation is going to give dad significantly more time with good qualify of life, or is it simply going to postpone the inevitable for a few months? Has anyone talked about hospice?

I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
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